Video: Joe Tries Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ice Cream!

I recently was out shopping and stumbled across some new novelty TMNT-inspired ice cream in the frozen food aisle. Obviously, I had to not only buy it, but then record and share my experience with this Shell Shock Surprise flavor! Hit that play button and enjoy!

Daily Cartoon: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S05E17 “Monsters Among Us”

Welcome to another Halloween episode review as we finally (I think) conclude what has become an epic spooky-season Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles saga.

What I thought was just your run of the mill seasonal installment has turned into a four day time-traveling spectacular with the Turtles making stops in ancient Egypt, middle ages Transylvania, 1800s Germany and now…well we don’t know where they end up going today just yet, but I cannot wait to find out.

The demon villain, Savanti Romero, has assembled his crew of a mummy, werewolf, Dracula and Frankenstein’s monster in his attempt to further his objective of overtaking present day New York City with his gaggle of zombies and monsters. It’s an uphill battle, but the Turtles – aided by their time-traveling pal Renet – never say day, never give up and always give 110%!

So here we are: the thrilling conclusion to a Halloween gone sideways! Continue reading

Daily Cartoon: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S05E16 “The Frankenstein Experiment”

Welcome back to another Halloween cartoon recap which also happens to be another episode of Nickelodeon’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles because this show has absolutely bamboozled me and now has me on Part 3 of an epic Halloween saga!

I definitely wasn’t planning on writing about three episodes of this show, but I was hooked from the jump and – when the story continued into the next episode – had no choice but to keep going.

So here we are on Day 3 of TMNT and I’m pretty excited about it. When we left off, the Turtles had failed in their attempt to stop Savanti Romero from adding Dracula to his growing army of monsters and also lost one of their brothers as Raphael was bitten by the vampire and has turned heel. Savanti moves further into the future to locate his next recruit and when the Turtles and their time-traveling friend Renet catch up, they find themselves in Germany outside Dr. Frankenstein’s castle.

What a dramatic turn of events! Savanti already can claim a Mummy (the Egyptian Pharaoh), Dracula and a werewolf (the traveler from yesterday’s installment) so maybe after Frankenstein we can get a run-in by the Creature from the Black Lagoon and really make this a Monster Mash!

We’re all caught up so it’s time to sign into Hulu and hit play! Continue reading

Daily Cartoon: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S05E15 “The Crypt of Dracula”

Welcome back to another Halloween cartoon episode recap and – unexpectedly – we are picking up right where we left off yesterday. Since I was completely unaware that the yesterday’s installment was a multi-episode engagement, we’re going to come right back and see what more Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has to give us.

Truth be told, by the end of yesterday’s episode, I was totally into it and didn’t even realize we were coming up to the end so when it cut to credits I was all sorts of aghast. I made the decision right then and there that we were just going to bring this back to see what happened next.

When we left off, the Turtles along with their time-traveling friend, Renet, took a big L at the hands of Savanti Romero (another time traveler, but an evil one who is building an army by jumping time periods). Savanti escapes an ancient Egyptian tomb with the no-longer-buried Pharaoh and opens a portal to the Middle Ages to continue building his army. The Turtles had hoped to stop that before Savanti even got started to bring back peace and normalcy to their current-day New York which has been overrun with a curse perpetrated by Savanti that’s turning normal civilians into zombie vampires on Halloween of all days.

If that wasn’t bad enough, Renet’s scepter – which is what allows our heroes to travel through time – is at a dangerously low power level and cannot be recharged until they get back…to the future (yesssssssss). They’re already taking a chance at being stuck forever by following Savanti into the Middle Ages, but what choice do they have? Savanti Romero must be stopped.

Which bring us to today… Continue reading

Daily Cartoon: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S050E14 “The Curse of Savanti Romero”

Hello and welcome back to another Halloween cartoon episode recap! We’ve been on a solid run of mostly highly enjoyable shows of late so let’s hope that today’s choice keeps things going in a positive direction.

Today, we’ll be watching an episode of Nickelodeon’s 2012 reboot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This should be an actual Halloween episode as the word “Halloween” does appear in the description on Hulu as opposed to yesterday’s Powerpuff Girls viewing.

I’ve never seen any of this series. Obviously, I grew up on the original TMNT but it was more my brother’s “thing” than mine. I still liked it and had toys and saw the movies, but my fandom for it never continued through the years like it did with other things such as Masters of the Universe or Thundercats. That’s not a bad thing. For all I know, I could end up loving this and start holding a candle for TMNT for the remainder of my days which wouldn’t be bad considering that this property has really never died or been in danger of going away in over 30 years now. To this day we continue to get cartoons, movies and some badass toys of our heroes in a halfshell.

This is the newest show we’ve checked out so far in the Halloween marathon we’re running here and I’m pretty excited about that. Let’s see what today’s kids are being molded by. Continue reading

Daily Cartoon! TOXIC CRUSADERS Ep.9: “Invasion of the Biddy Snatchers”

Welcome to the Thursday edition of the Daily Cartoon on Car JoeMez! Before we get started, here’s your daily reminder to check out the weekly shoe, The Car JoeMez Podcast, on iTunesSoundcloud or wherever you get your podcasts. This week’s episode features Gomez and I discussing the music of our adolescence as well as completely shitting on the list of top fast food items put out by The Ringer. It’s probably one of my favorite episodes that we’ve done so, please, go give it a listen, leave a review, subscribe and share it with friends. Everything is better with friends.

Today’s show is Toxic Crusaders! I remember having seen this as a kid, but don’t remember it sticking around all that long. I kind of remember enjoying it, but it wasn’t even close to something I was all about. I’d remember it a lot better if I did. Apparently, it did reach some level of popularity as they were a bunch of licensed items from comic books, a board game, a toy line and even a video game for NES, GameBoy and Genesis. I don’t ever remember this being THAT popular to necessitate all of that.

Toxic-Crusaders-Collection.jpg

Looking at the toys, there’s a lot to similarities to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles line. Which shouldn’t come as much of a surprise as both lines were made by Playmates around the same time. maxresdefault

I’m going to go out on a limb and assume the game is awful. I’m going to go out on an even further limb and say I’ll probably try hunting it down on eBay over the weekend.

The reason all this merchandising surprises me is that the series only produced 13 episodes and I genuinely don’t remember it being a big thing in the school yards as a kid seeing as how I was only 9-10 years old when this was aired. Maybe people just expected it to take off like another TMNT or something. I don’t know. Either way, I’m kind of excited to check this out and see if anything jogs my memory.

Quick little background on this: the main focus is Toxie, the ugly green sludge monster we see on the video games and in the center of anything promoting this who has superpowers and is a really nice guy under his horribly disfigured appearance. Toxie and friends do battle with the evil villains from the planet Smogula who want to do irreparable harm to the environment. Hmmm…maybe we should get Toxie to have a talk with that new president guy.

OK, so horribly disfigured mutants. Villains from the planet Smogula. Save the environment. Got it.

Let’s watch a cartoon.

Toxic Crusaders E.9: “Invasion of the Biddy Snatchers”

Originally Aired: April 27, 1991

Plot:

We open with the Toxic Crusaders playing football in what appears to be the dump when Toxie’s Tromatons start tingling. Tromatons are basically this dude’s Spidey-Sense so that means evil must be near. At this point, a small sack drops onto his head where a small insect is nestled on the inside.

Cut to the planet of Smogula, where Czar Zosta, the head bad guy is demoting Dr. Killemoff (think Krang/Shredder type of relationship here) because of his inability to rid them of the Toxic Crusaders. In his place will be General GarBage who is this termite-looking motherfucker who grows to be a giant bug wearing traditional military garb. In the smaller state, he also looks exactly like the bug that just fell on Toxie’s head.

General GarBage explains his master plan to Dr. Killemoff and it…is…a…doozy. He’s going to drop a shit ton of tiny bugs all over the town of Tromaville, New Jersey (home to the Toxic Avengers) where they will bite little old ladies and become perfect clones of them, albeit with four arms. He thinks that nobody will suspect his old lady clones and he’ll easily be able to infiltrate the town and take it over for good.

As far as evil plans go for some of the shows we’ve been watching lately, this one is actually pretty solid.

The clones lock up all the original old biddies somewhere nobody would ever think to look: Tromaville City Hall while they start driving the residents out-of-town due to their nonstop nagging and complaining. This makes the town ripe for a Smogula invasion. Toxie, meanwhile, gets a super-duper Tromaton alert when someone mentions his Mom and he heads out to figure out what could be wrong.

Unfortunately for Toxie, he’s met by his imposter Mom on the way to her house where she informs him that him and the rest of the Toxic Crusaders are being deported to Siberia because they’re too ugly to live in Tromaville. Normally, I’d say we shouldn’t discriminate against those less good-looking, but, real talk: Tromaville is in New Jersey so c’mon, there’s really not a lot to work with there and people REALLY have no right to judge. Toxie heads to the dump to inform the rest of the Crusaders.

Dr. Killemoff, in lieu of being excited about the plan working, is up and arms. He’s desperate for General GarBage to fail so he can get his top spot back. Fuck, the politics that exist even when being a bad guy from Smogula aren’t much different from that of being an American senator.

The Crusaders board a ship bound for Siberia, but are surprised when it’s only a 10 minute trip. When they debark, they’re met by Dr. Killemoff who informs these idiots that they’re in Island City and not Siberia, but that he’ll also make a deal: defeat General GarBage’s clones and they can return to Tromaville. The Crusaders, obviously, are thrilled. In the immortal words of Bon Jovi, who says you can’t go home?

When the Crusaders return to Tromaville, they’re ambushed by the clone biddies. They refuse to fight back because – even though they’re imposters – they still don’t feel comfortable hitting old women. This is rectified by the real old biddies showing up en masse after a group jailbreak and laying out the fakers. They hit their finishing move of hitting them in the face with hair spray which transforms the clones back into the insects they began as.

General GarBage launches an attack with a bunch of Smogulan troops who are handled with ease by the Toxic Crusaders. Toxie even grabs a can of hairspray and hits General GarBage with a big spritz which shrinks him down to a tiny general. The bad guys retreat and Tromaville is once again saved by its lovable group of mutant superheroes.

Final Thoughts:

This show is terrific! It’s completely in on the joke with how ridiculous the premise is and makes no secret of hiding it. It’s fun, it’s witty, it’s an all-around good time.

Seriously, go out of your way and track this down to give it a watch. It’s streaming on Amazon Prime right now which is how I watched, but there’s also a DVD collection out there. With only 13 episodes, it’s not even a real commitment so it’s perfect to knock out over a slow weekend.

Seriously had a good time with this show and glad I saw it sitting there on Amazon. Go watch and get back at me with your thoughts.

See you tomorrow.

❤ Joe

Daily Cartoon! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S.3,E.8: “The Fifth Turtle”

OK, I know, I basically took a month off. I needed to. This show was just getting to me and I’m not someone who can deal with being force-fed shit. But I have time and am sitting in a hotel with nothing to do so I’m gonna give this another whirl. It’s been long enough.

I’ve watched a lot of other things in between which I probably should have reviewed for the hell of it, but I didn’t because I suck.

But I will be better with getting content up here. Maybe not everyday, but more than there has been recently. Promise.

S.3, E.8: “The Fifth Turtle”. Original Air Date: October 30th, 1989

Plot:

It’s been a while, so once again, I pop huge for the intro theme. It seriously does such a good job of getting you excited to be watching this show. The energy, the colors, the characters. All, just terrific.

We begin in the lair late at night where the Turtles have the munchies. They’re also all out of shredded mozzarella and send Donatello and Raphael to go to the all-night market so they can make pizza. Because god forbid any of them have a fucking sandwich or some pretzel rods or something.

They two get their groceries and decide to take a shortcut through an alley where they’re encountered by a gang of toughs. As they get ready to throw down, a kid in a TMNT Halloween costume jumps in front of them and threatens the thugs declaring himself as Zach another of the superhero Turtles. We all see where this going. The kid basically falls on his dumb face immediately, but Raph and Donnie take care of business with ease. The two real Turtles then tell Zach that he’s not a Turtle and he could have gotten hurt which causes the little guy to run away upset that his heroes wouldn’t appreciate his efforts. On the way out, though, he picks up Raph’s TurtleCom which was lost during the kerfuffle and states that he’ll show them that he can be just as tubular or some shit. I don’t know. I already disdain this kid.

Cut to the Technodrome where Krang is providing an astronomy lesson for Shredder, Bebop and Rocksteady. There’s some kind of planetary alignment coming tomorrow night that – with the use of Krang’s new weapon and some strategically placed crystals – will finally raise the Technodrome back to the surface.

We head to Channel 6 News where April O’Neil is getting a hot tip that there’s been a break-in at a lab and Bebop and Rocksteady have been spotted. She hits up the TMNT on the TurtleCom to let them know, but Zach also gets the message on his newly found device and is hyped to join in on the action.

Shredder is leading a robbery at the lab to steal the crystals Krang needs, but the Turtles interrupt and have him dead to rights until fuckboi Zach comes rolling in on his bicycle and ruins everything. The tables have now turned and Shredder has the advantage. Zach has a close call with death, but is saved at the last second by Raphael. Shredder and his mutants are able to use the distraction to escape with the crystals and keep their plans in tact for the raising of the Technodrome, but not before Rocksteady blabs the whole plan to April on their way out.

Zach is able to track the Turtles back to their lair using his junior detective kit that looks like something you’d order from the back of a comic in the 80s. Splinter is actually impressed that Zach has done what others have been unable to do and find the lair. The Turtles give him a quick tour and offer him some pizza because, hey, they’ve got time to kill before squashing Shredder and Krang’s evil plan, right? Everybody needs to take a blow here and there. Splinter then advises Zach not to interfere going forward because nobody wants to see him get hurt.

Shredder decides to use Zach’s enthusiasm for his benefit and calls the police to report that he found a bicycle and would like to return it. He gives the cops a license plate number and the police are more than happy to give him Zach’s address thinking that he’s a good Samaritan and not at all a child rapist.

Let’s take a moment. The cops just tell Shredder the address like it ain’t no thang. What in the glorious fuck?! Like, in the 80s, weren’t we all terrified of people snatching children from everywhere?! Pay close attention to your kids in the supermarket, folks! Or else people will grab them and you’ll never see them ever again! That shit was real! “America’s Most Wanted” was basically created for just that type of shit! And here’s the NYPD just GIVING Shredder a local boy’s address because he happened to have the license plate number of the kid’s bicycle. (And don’t get me started on just how ludicrous it is for bicycles to have a license plate. Come the fuck on.) But yeah. Who just gives out this kind of information?! Now I hope Bebop eats this fucking kid and the NYPD all get fired for providing a known villain with his home address without even asking who was calling or anything.

OK, I’m back from that tangent. That was intense, eh? Fine, let’s see what else happens.

Bebop and Rocksteady go to Zach’s house, but are pretty loud about it and Zach is able to hide to avoid getting taken. Bebop says it doesn’t matter if they find the kid because once they get the crystals set up, the Turtles won’t be able to stop them from raising the Technodrome. Zach hears this, of course, and – even though he promised Splinter he wouldn’t get involved, decides that the Turtles are his friends and Turtles stick together. OK, sure, kid.

Back at the lair, Donatello uses science to figure out that Shredder plans to use the Planetarium to put the plan into use. Because, of course. Zach heads there and just knows Donatello will figure out the whole thing about the Planetarium because he’s so smart, but he’ll just hang outside so he can warn the TMNT. Why this asshole kid is talking to himself in the middle of the night when he knows bad guys are all around is beyond me. What a fucking mark.

Of course, Rocksteady pops out from behind the bushes and captures Zach so they’ll be no warning the Turtles.

The Turtles hit the Planetarium and basically give up once Shredder brandishes the captured kid. So now all five of these guys are tied up and there’s no way they’ll be able to foil Krang’s evil plans this time around.But SUHPRISE! The crystals are reactive to sound and fuckboi Zach knows just the thing!

He asks for Donatello’s TurtleCom and is able to shift just enough to plug his headphones into the jack that never existed in any episode prior to this which creates the world’s most annoying sound. Everybody within earshot is fucking pissed, but the noise forces the crystals to explode and the Technodrome can no longer be raised. A piece of the crystal lands near Leonardo’s foot and he’s able to kick it up so they can free themselves and attack the baddies.

That Shredder is crafty, however, and drops a smoke bomb so he and the mutants can escape to fight another day. Shredder really is horrible at this whole bad guy thing.

The Turtles and Splinter thank Zach for his help and give him a TurtleCom as a gift as well as declaring him an honorary Turtle. Hooray.

Final Thoughts:

I don’t even know. So Zach is 13 and the only family shown is an older brother who is maybe 16. There’s no parental supervision and the kid is able to just walk right out of the house at all hours of the night and ride his bike like it’s nothing even thought New York City is depicted as being this awful, crime-infested hell hole.

Zach would be 41 years-old now and I hope to fucking hell that he’s a much more attentive parent to his kids than his parents were to him. That’s if he’s still alive and didn’t get himself killed by another bumbling evil-doer. That’s a story I’d like to see April O’Neil report on live from the scene.

This show has about as much depth as the kiddie pool at Munchkin Land. It also makes me absolutely terrified to re-watch He-Man since that was and is my jam and I don’t want it to ever be ruined for me.

Jeez. What’s a boy to do? Maybe I just need a new show. This was episode 26 overall of this show and that seems to be about the time I gave up on M.A.S.K. I don’t know. We’ll think of something.

Until then, remember to listen to the latest episode of the Car JoeMez Podcast, subscribe and leave a review. Also, feel free to go back and listen to all the older episodes as well!

❤ Joe