Video: Joe Tries Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ice Cream!

I recently was out shopping and stumbled across some new novelty TMNT-inspired ice cream in the frozen food aisle. Obviously, I had to not only buy it, but then record and share my experience with this Shell Shock Surprise flavor! Hit that play button and enjoy!

Daily Cartoon: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S05E17 “Monsters Among Us”

Welcome to another Halloween episode review as we finally (I think) conclude what has become an epic spooky-season Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles saga.

What I thought was just your run of the mill seasonal installment has turned into a four day time-traveling spectacular with the Turtles making stops in ancient Egypt, middle ages Transylvania, 1800s Germany and now…well we don’t know where they end up going today just yet, but I cannot wait to find out.

The demon villain, Savanti Romero, has assembled his crew of a mummy, werewolf, Dracula and Frankenstein’s monster in his attempt to further his objective of overtaking present day New York City with his gaggle of zombies and monsters. It’s an uphill battle, but the Turtles – aided by their time-traveling pal Renet – never say day, never give up and always give 110%!

So here we are: the thrilling conclusion to a Halloween gone sideways! Continue reading

Daily Cartoon: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S05E16 “The Frankenstein Experiment”

Welcome back to another Halloween cartoon recap which also happens to be another episode of Nickelodeon’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles because this show has absolutely bamboozled me and now has me on Part 3 of an epic Halloween saga!

I definitely wasn’t planning on writing about three episodes of this show, but I was hooked from the jump and – when the story continued into the next episode – had no choice but to keep going.

So here we are on Day 3 of TMNT and I’m pretty excited about it. When we left off, the Turtles had failed in their attempt to stop Savanti Romero from adding Dracula to his growing army of monsters and also lost one of their brothers as Raphael was bitten by the vampire and has turned heel. Savanti moves further into the future to locate his next recruit and when the Turtles and their time-traveling friend Renet catch up, they find themselves in Germany outside Dr. Frankenstein’s castle.

What a dramatic turn of events! Savanti already can claim a Mummy (the Egyptian Pharaoh), Dracula and a werewolf (the traveler from yesterday’s installment) so maybe after Frankenstein we can get a run-in by the Creature from the Black Lagoon and really make this a Monster Mash!

We’re all caught up so it’s time to sign into Hulu and hit play! Continue reading

Daily Cartoon: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S05E15 “The Crypt of Dracula”

Welcome back to another Halloween cartoon episode recap and – unexpectedly – we are picking up right where we left off yesterday. Since I was completely unaware that the yesterday’s installment was a multi-episode engagement, we’re going to come right back and see what more Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has to give us.

Truth be told, by the end of yesterday’s episode, I was totally into it and didn’t even realize we were coming up to the end so when it cut to credits I was all sorts of aghast. I made the decision right then and there that we were just going to bring this back to see what happened next.

When we left off, the Turtles along with their time-traveling friend, Renet, took a big L at the hands of Savanti Romero (another time traveler, but an evil one who is building an army by jumping time periods). Savanti escapes an ancient Egyptian tomb with the no-longer-buried Pharaoh and opens a portal to the Middle Ages to continue building his army. The Turtles had hoped to stop that before Savanti even got started to bring back peace and normalcy to their current-day New York which has been overrun with a curse perpetrated by Savanti that’s turning normal civilians into zombie vampires on Halloween of all days.

If that wasn’t bad enough, Renet’s scepter – which is what allows our heroes to travel through time – is at a dangerously low power level and cannot be recharged until they get back…to the future (yesssssssss). They’re already taking a chance at being stuck forever by following Savanti into the Middle Ages, but what choice do they have? Savanti Romero must be stopped.

Which bring us to today… Continue reading

Daily Cartoon: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S050E14 “The Curse of Savanti Romero”

Hello and welcome back to another Halloween cartoon episode recap! We’ve been on a solid run of mostly highly enjoyable shows of late so let’s hope that today’s choice keeps things going in a positive direction.

Today, we’ll be watching an episode of Nickelodeon’s 2012 reboot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This should be an actual Halloween episode as the word “Halloween” does appear in the description on Hulu as opposed to yesterday’s Powerpuff Girls viewing.

I’ve never seen any of this series. Obviously, I grew up on the original TMNT but it was more my brother’s “thing” than mine. I still liked it and had toys and saw the movies, but my fandom for it never continued through the years like it did with other things such as Masters of the Universe or Thundercats. That’s not a bad thing. For all I know, I could end up loving this and start holding a candle for TMNT for the remainder of my days which wouldn’t be bad considering that this property has really never died or been in danger of going away in over 30 years now. To this day we continue to get cartoons, movies and some badass toys of our heroes in a halfshell.

This is the newest show we’ve checked out so far in the Halloween marathon we’re running here and I’m pretty excited about that. Let’s see what today’s kids are being molded by. Continue reading

Daily Cartoon! Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue!

It’s been a long time since I’ve put fingers to keyboard for one of these so I wanted to make it a good one.

Folks, when I was a kid, Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue was a fucking happening! We were still heavy into the “Just Say No To Drugs” era in the States which literally meant nothing to me since my 8 year-old ass had absolute zero access to drugs to even consider saying no to, but it did mean we got some terrific animated specials concerning the dangers of recreational drug use.

This originally aired in the US on April 21, 1990 and was simulcast across all four major networks in the Saturday morning cartoon blocks. I can remember being in the 3rd grade and having this be part of the announcements because it was THAT fucking major. Not because any of us really cared about saying “no” to drugs at the time, but because it sounded like the most bad-ass team up of cartoon characters that would ever exist.

I don’t really remember the specifics of it outside of a bunch of characters helping a kid get her brother off the pot or something, but I do remember being disappointed that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were such a tiny part of it. The Turtles were over as fuck at the time and I wanted them to be major players.  Continue reading

Daily Cartoon! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S.3,E.8: “The Fifth Turtle”

OK, I know, I basically took a month off. I needed to. This show was just getting to me and I’m not someone who can deal with being force-fed shit. But I have time and am sitting in a hotel with nothing to do so I’m gonna give this another whirl. It’s been long enough.

I’ve watched a lot of other things in between which I probably should have reviewed for the hell of it, but I didn’t because I suck.

But I will be better with getting content up here. Maybe not everyday, but more than there has been recently. Promise.

S.3, E.8: “The Fifth Turtle”. Original Air Date: October 30th, 1989

Plot:

It’s been a while, so once again, I pop huge for the intro theme. It seriously does such a good job of getting you excited to be watching this show. The energy, the colors, the characters. All, just terrific.

We begin in the lair late at night where the Turtles have the munchies. They’re also all out of shredded mozzarella and send Donatello and Raphael to go to the all-night market so they can make pizza. Because god forbid any of them have a fucking sandwich or some pretzel rods or something.

They two get their groceries and decide to take a shortcut through an alley where they’re encountered by a gang of toughs. As they get ready to throw down, a kid in a TMNT Halloween costume jumps in front of them and threatens the thugs declaring himself as Zach another of the superhero Turtles. We all see where this going. The kid basically falls on his dumb face immediately, but Raph and Donnie take care of business with ease. The two real Turtles then tell Zach that he’s not a Turtle and he could have gotten hurt which causes the little guy to run away upset that his heroes wouldn’t appreciate his efforts. On the way out, though, he picks up Raph’s TurtleCom which was lost during the kerfuffle and states that he’ll show them that he can be just as tubular or some shit. I don’t know. I already disdain this kid.

Cut to the Technodrome where Krang is providing an astronomy lesson for Shredder, Bebop and Rocksteady. There’s some kind of planetary alignment coming tomorrow night that – with the use of Krang’s new weapon and some strategically placed crystals – will finally raise the Technodrome back to the surface.

We head to Channel 6 News where April O’Neil is getting a hot tip that there’s been a break-in at a lab and Bebop and Rocksteady have been spotted. She hits up the TMNT on the TurtleCom to let them know, but Zach also gets the message on his newly found device and is hyped to join in on the action.

Shredder is leading a robbery at the lab to steal the crystals Krang needs, but the Turtles interrupt and have him dead to rights until fuckboi Zach comes rolling in on his bicycle and ruins everything. The tables have now turned and Shredder has the advantage. Zach has a close call with death, but is saved at the last second by Raphael. Shredder and his mutants are able to use the distraction to escape with the crystals and keep their plans in tact for the raising of the Technodrome, but not before Rocksteady blabs the whole plan to April on their way out.

Zach is able to track the Turtles back to their lair using his junior detective kit that looks like something you’d order from the back of a comic in the 80s. Splinter is actually impressed that Zach has done what others have been unable to do and find the lair. The Turtles give him a quick tour and offer him some pizza because, hey, they’ve got time to kill before squashing Shredder and Krang’s evil plan, right? Everybody needs to take a blow here and there. Splinter then advises Zach not to interfere going forward because nobody wants to see him get hurt.

Shredder decides to use Zach’s enthusiasm for his benefit and calls the police to report that he found a bicycle and would like to return it. He gives the cops a license plate number and the police are more than happy to give him Zach’s address thinking that he’s a good Samaritan and not at all a child rapist.

Let’s take a moment. The cops just tell Shredder the address like it ain’t no thang. What in the glorious fuck?! Like, in the 80s, weren’t we all terrified of people snatching children from everywhere?! Pay close attention to your kids in the supermarket, folks! Or else people will grab them and you’ll never see them ever again! That shit was real! “America’s Most Wanted” was basically created for just that type of shit! And here’s the NYPD just GIVING Shredder a local boy’s address because he happened to have the license plate number of the kid’s bicycle. (And don’t get me started on just how ludicrous it is for bicycles to have a license plate. Come the fuck on.) But yeah. Who just gives out this kind of information?! Now I hope Bebop eats this fucking kid and the NYPD all get fired for providing a known villain with his home address without even asking who was calling or anything.

OK, I’m back from that tangent. That was intense, eh? Fine, let’s see what else happens.

Bebop and Rocksteady go to Zach’s house, but are pretty loud about it and Zach is able to hide to avoid getting taken. Bebop says it doesn’t matter if they find the kid because once they get the crystals set up, the Turtles won’t be able to stop them from raising the Technodrome. Zach hears this, of course, and – even though he promised Splinter he wouldn’t get involved, decides that the Turtles are his friends and Turtles stick together. OK, sure, kid.

Back at the lair, Donatello uses science to figure out that Shredder plans to use the Planetarium to put the plan into use. Because, of course. Zach heads there and just knows Donatello will figure out the whole thing about the Planetarium because he’s so smart, but he’ll just hang outside so he can warn the TMNT. Why this asshole kid is talking to himself in the middle of the night when he knows bad guys are all around is beyond me. What a fucking mark.

Of course, Rocksteady pops out from behind the bushes and captures Zach so they’ll be no warning the Turtles.

The Turtles hit the Planetarium and basically give up once Shredder brandishes the captured kid. So now all five of these guys are tied up and there’s no way they’ll be able to foil Krang’s evil plans this time around.But SUHPRISE! The crystals are reactive to sound and fuckboi Zach knows just the thing!

He asks for Donatello’s TurtleCom and is able to shift just enough to plug his headphones into the jack that never existed in any episode prior to this which creates the world’s most annoying sound. Everybody within earshot is fucking pissed, but the noise forces the crystals to explode and the Technodrome can no longer be raised. A piece of the crystal lands near Leonardo’s foot and he’s able to kick it up so they can free themselves and attack the baddies.

That Shredder is crafty, however, and drops a smoke bomb so he and the mutants can escape to fight another day. Shredder really is horrible at this whole bad guy thing.

The Turtles and Splinter thank Zach for his help and give him a TurtleCom as a gift as well as declaring him an honorary Turtle. Hooray.

Final Thoughts:

I don’t even know. So Zach is 13 and the only family shown is an older brother who is maybe 16. There’s no parental supervision and the kid is able to just walk right out of the house at all hours of the night and ride his bike like it’s nothing even thought New York City is depicted as being this awful, crime-infested hell hole.

Zach would be 41 years-old now and I hope to fucking hell that he’s a much more attentive parent to his kids than his parents were to him. That’s if he’s still alive and didn’t get himself killed by another bumbling evil-doer. That’s a story I’d like to see April O’Neil report on live from the scene.

This show has about as much depth as the kiddie pool at Munchkin Land. It also makes me absolutely terrified to re-watch He-Man since that was and is my jam and I don’t want it to ever be ruined for me.

Jeez. What’s a boy to do? Maybe I just need a new show. This was episode 26 overall of this show and that seems to be about the time I gave up on M.A.S.K. I don’t know. We’ll think of something.

Until then, remember to listen to the latest episode of the Car JoeMez Podcast, subscribe and leave a review. Also, feel free to go back and listen to all the older episodes as well!

❤ Joe