Daily Cartoon! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S.3,E.8: “The Fifth Turtle”

OK, I know, I basically took a month off. I needed to. This show was just getting to me and I’m not someone who can deal with being force-fed shit. But I have time and am sitting in a hotel with nothing to do so I’m gonna give this another whirl. It’s been long enough.

I’ve watched a lot of other things in between which I probably should have reviewed for the hell of it, but I didn’t because I suck.

But I will be better with getting content up here. Maybe not everyday, but more than there has been recently. Promise.

S.3, E.8: “The Fifth Turtle”. Original Air Date: October 30th, 1989

Plot:

It’s been a while, so once again, I pop huge for the intro theme. It seriously does such a good job of getting you excited to be watching this show. The energy, the colors, the characters. All, just terrific.

We begin in the lair late at night where the Turtles have the munchies. They’re also all out of shredded mozzarella and send Donatello and Raphael to go to the all-night market so they can make pizza. Because god forbid any of them have a fucking sandwich or some pretzel rods or something.

They two get their groceries and decide to take a shortcut through an alley where they’re encountered by a gang of toughs. As they get ready to throw down, a kid in a TMNT Halloween costume jumps in front of them and threatens the thugs declaring himself as Zach another of the superhero Turtles. We all see where this going. The kid basically falls on his dumb face immediately, but Raph and Donnie take care of business with ease. The two real Turtles then tell Zach that he’s not a Turtle and he could have gotten hurt which causes the little guy to run away upset that his heroes wouldn’t appreciate his efforts. On the way out, though, he picks up Raph’s TurtleCom which was lost during the kerfuffle and states that he’ll show them that he can be just as tubular or some shit. I don’t know. I already disdain this kid.

Cut to the Technodrome where Krang is providing an astronomy lesson for Shredder, Bebop and Rocksteady. There’s some kind of planetary alignment coming tomorrow night that – with the use of Krang’s new weapon and some strategically placed crystals – will finally raise the Technodrome back to the surface.

We head to Channel 6 News where April O’Neil is getting a hot tip that there’s been a break-in at a lab and Bebop and Rocksteady have been spotted. She hits up the TMNT on the TurtleCom to let them know, but Zach also gets the message on his newly found device and is hyped to join in on the action.

Shredder is leading a robbery at the lab to steal the crystals Krang needs, but the Turtles interrupt and have him dead to rights until fuckboi Zach comes rolling in on his bicycle and ruins everything. The tables have now turned and Shredder has the advantage. Zach has a close call with death, but is saved at the last second by Raphael. Shredder and his mutants are able to use the distraction to escape with the crystals and keep their plans in tact for the raising of the Technodrome, but not before Rocksteady blabs the whole plan to April on their way out.

Zach is able to track the Turtles back to their lair using his junior detective kit that looks like something you’d order from the back of a comic in the 80s. Splinter is actually impressed that Zach has done what others have been unable to do and find the lair. The Turtles give him a quick tour and offer him some pizza because, hey, they’ve got time to kill before squashing Shredder and Krang’s evil plan, right? Everybody needs to take a blow here and there. Splinter then advises Zach not to interfere going forward because nobody wants to see him get hurt.

Shredder decides to use Zach’s enthusiasm for his benefit and calls the police to report that he found a bicycle and would like to return it. He gives the cops a license plate number and the police are more than happy to give him Zach’s address thinking that he’s a good Samaritan and not at all a child rapist.

Let’s take a moment. The cops just tell Shredder the address like it ain’t no thang. What in the glorious fuck?! Like, in the 80s, weren’t we all terrified of people snatching children from everywhere?! Pay close attention to your kids in the supermarket, folks! Or else people will grab them and you’ll never see them ever again! That shit was real! “America’s Most Wanted” was basically created for just that type of shit! And here’s the NYPD just GIVING Shredder a local boy’s address because he happened to have the license plate number of the kid’s bicycle. (And don’t get me started on just how ludicrous it is for bicycles to have a license plate. Come the fuck on.) But yeah. Who just gives out this kind of information?! Now I hope Bebop eats this fucking kid and the NYPD all get fired for providing a known villain with his home address without even asking who was calling or anything.

OK, I’m back from that tangent. That was intense, eh? Fine, let’s see what else happens.

Bebop and Rocksteady go to Zach’s house, but are pretty loud about it and Zach is able to hide to avoid getting taken. Bebop says it doesn’t matter if they find the kid because once they get the crystals set up, the Turtles won’t be able to stop them from raising the Technodrome. Zach hears this, of course, and – even though he promised Splinter he wouldn’t get involved, decides that the Turtles are his friends and Turtles stick together. OK, sure, kid.

Back at the lair, Donatello uses science to figure out that Shredder plans to use the Planetarium to put the plan into use. Because, of course. Zach heads there and just knows Donatello will figure out the whole thing about the Planetarium because he’s so smart, but he’ll just hang outside so he can warn the TMNT. Why this asshole kid is talking to himself in the middle of the night when he knows bad guys are all around is beyond me. What a fucking mark.

Of course, Rocksteady pops out from behind the bushes and captures Zach so they’ll be no warning the Turtles.

The Turtles hit the Planetarium and basically give up once Shredder brandishes the captured kid. So now all five of these guys are tied up and there’s no way they’ll be able to foil Krang’s evil plans this time around.But SUHPRISE! The crystals are reactive to sound and fuckboi Zach knows just the thing!

He asks for Donatello’s TurtleCom and is able to shift just enough to plug his headphones into the jack that never existed in any episode prior to this which creates the world’s most annoying sound. Everybody within earshot is fucking pissed, but the noise forces the crystals to explode and the Technodrome can no longer be raised. A piece of the crystal lands near Leonardo’s foot and he’s able to kick it up so they can free themselves and attack the baddies.

That Shredder is crafty, however, and drops a smoke bomb so he and the mutants can escape to fight another day. Shredder really is horrible at this whole bad guy thing.

The Turtles and Splinter thank Zach for his help and give him a TurtleCom as a gift as well as declaring him an honorary Turtle. Hooray.

Final Thoughts:

I don’t even know. So Zach is 13 and the only family shown is an older brother who is maybe 16. There’s no parental supervision and the kid is able to just walk right out of the house at all hours of the night and ride his bike like it’s nothing even thought New York City is depicted as being this awful, crime-infested hell hole.

Zach would be 41 years-old now and I hope to fucking hell that he’s a much more attentive parent to his kids than his parents were to him. That’s if he’s still alive and didn’t get himself killed by another bumbling evil-doer. That’s a story I’d like to see April O’Neil report on live from the scene.

This show has about as much depth as the kiddie pool at Munchkin Land. It also makes me absolutely terrified to re-watch He-Man since that was and is my jam and I don’t want it to ever be ruined for me.

Jeez. What’s a boy to do? Maybe I just need a new show. This was episode 26 overall of this show and that seems to be about the time I gave up on M.A.S.K. I don’t know. We’ll think of something.

Until then, remember to listen to the latest episode of the Car JoeMez Podcast, subscribe and leave a review. Also, feel free to go back and listen to all the older episodes as well!

❤ Joe

 

Daily Cartoon! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S.3,E.7: “Burne’s Blues”

Welcome to a Sunday edition of TMNT! I actually hit the entire weekend! Go me. Yesterday, we were privy to Shredder and Splinter having their minds swapped because of some infernal machine. By the title alone today, it seems we’re going to get some kind of focus on Burne Thompson, April’s boss and the head of Channel 6.

I’m looking forward to this. We have to get the focus away from just the Turtles and Shredder even if only for a day. There’s only so many machines Krang can want stolen from the surface to be able to bring the Technodrome out from the center of the Earth. So, hopefully, this will be a nice change of pace.

And, with that…

S.3, E.7: “Burne’s Blues”. Original Air Date: 10/27/1989

Plot:

April does a story for Channel 6 news about the Turtles foiling a robbery at an area restaurant. She’s proud of her work, but her boss, Burne Thompson, feels she didn’t do enough. Specifically, that there was no footage of the Turtles themselves. April says that the TMNT asked her not to include footage of them, but Burne says that’s hogwash and that in his day reporters would stop at nothing to get the most important news. Vernon Fenwick, April’s producer, says that Burne’s right and that if he weren’t so old and out of shape, he’d get a real story on the Turtles. Burne takes this a challenge and heads out to do just that.

Meanwhile, April’s investigating an air conditioning repair company since it’s 112 degrees in NYC and every business, home and building that has been serviced by “S&K Repairs” still has faulty units. To make matters even crazier, while it’s hot, hot, hot on the surface, in the sewers it’s cold, cold, cold as there’s even an unexplainable sheet of ice coating the floors of the Turtles lair.

April tracks down the S&K truck and is immediately captured by Bebop who is disguised in a repair man uniform. She’s tied up and brought inside the truck while Shredder FaceTimes with Krang about all the Freon he’s been stealing from the city that they can use to power the Technodrome. Krang says Freon is bollocks and wants him to rob a factory that produces Nutri-Freeze which is 10x more powerful than Freon.

Cut back to Burne and Vernon who have been captured by some mobsters for asking where to find the Turtles.This all seems to be a misunderstanding, however, as there’s a mob boss in town named Don Turtelli – The Turtle. It’s pretty fucking stupid since there’s been stories all over the fucking news for months about four genuine turtles running around NYC stopping crime and palling around. Uhg.

Shredder, his mutants and a group of Foot Soldiers are at the Nutri-Freeze plant and are loading the truck when the TMNT crash the party. After dismissing the Foot Soldiers with ease, Bebop and Rocksteady charge at them with cylinders of Nutri-Freeze while Shredder has a conniption. Leonardo hits them both with a monkey flip and renders them disabled, but Rocksteady’s horn pierces one of the cylinders and freezes a nearby Michelangelo in solid ice. April is heard screaming from the truck, but as the Turtles get near, it turns out to be a trap. Shredder jumps from the van with a cylinder strapped to his back and a vacuum tube used as a gun to spray the other three Turtles in the freeze-gas. He then delivers a line that would have made Arnold Schwarzenegger jealous in Batman & Robin:

“As Michelangelo would say, chill out, dudes.”

Stupendous.

OK, so there’s this running gag going on with Burne and Vern where they have their feet tickled with a feather by mobsters to try to find out what they know. In truth, they know nothing, they were just snooping around in the wrong place. Once the mobsters are satisfied that these two are worthless, they dump them out in an industrial part of town that just so happens to be right where the Nutri-Freeze factory is. Burne is hyped because he’s gonna find the truth about those Turtles when – and I am not kidding when I say this – they are abducted by alien Elvis-es and taken to space where they have their feet tickled with a feather to try to get them to talk.

What this has to do with fucking anything, I have no idea, but it is 100% fucking retarded and I now I’m mad.

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Um…what else? The Turtles track down Shredder, save April and the Nutri-Freeze is blown up underground after those Drill-Trains the bad guys have crash in the sewers.

Burne goes on the air raving like a madman about the Elvis aliens and everybody has pizza.

Final Thoughts:

So, I wasn’t hating this episode by any means. It wasn’t the Burne-centric story I was hoping for, but it wasn’t bad. Burne and Vern get mixed up with the mob…OK, I’m still with it. But then aliens come and abduct the two and they turn out to be Elvises and honestly, this show can go fuck itself.

Zero reason. Zero purpose. Zero entertainment. Fuck you, TMNT. Fuck you so hard. After that, who cares about the rest of the episode? Goddamn, fuck this show. I can’t believe someone put this in. What gets me is that I probably thought this was hilarious as a kid. I don’t know. I definitely don’t remember this episode and that’s a good thing. As an adult I’m hoping to forget it as soon as humanly possible.

Until tomorrow, folks.

❤ Joe

Daily Cartoon! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S.3,E.6: “The Old Switcheroo”

Yeah, I know. I got flustered yesterday. Lost my cool. But I challenge any one of you to watch yesterday’s episode and feel different. It was absolute garbage. At some point, if you feed a guy shit, he’s gonna call you out on it.

When I write these blogs, I do it literally as I’m watching the episode. It’s not a recap that I do afterwards. So you’re getting my thoughts concerning what’s happening – for better or worse – in real-time for the most part. And one thing I’ve never been able to do is pretend I like something when I know it’s shit. This show is starting to grate on me like Quint’s nails on a chalkboard. It’s not on M.A.S.K. level quite yet simply because there’s at least a purpose and a backstory to the purpose here whereas there was zero history in the other show. But something needs to change before I take my talents to a new show. I’m not going to force myself to sit through shit that is whack.

For now, however, we continue to watch this.

S.3, E.6: “The Old Switcheroo”. Original Air Date: 10/26/1989

Plot:

April gets a tip that some suspicious activity is happening at CyberTech Labs and goes to check it out. When she arrives, she finds Shredder, Bebop and Rocksteady doing bad guy stuff so she calls the Turtles. April is hiding in the rafters…like Sting…but makes too much noise and is discovered by Shredder. Just as she’s about to be captured, the Turtles and Splinter come busting through the door.

Our first battle of the day ensues and this one is a bit more even than normally. OK, I’m on board. Let’s see where this goes. During the brouhaha, both Splinter and Shredder get thrown on to opposite platforms of some giant machine. A rogue laser activates said machine and both leaders are hit with some type of radiation. Bebop and Rocksteady grab Shredder and head out of Dodge, while the Turtles attend to Splinter.

As both chiefs are coming to, each realizes that their minds have been transferred into the other’s body. Whooooooooooooaaaaaaaa!

Both Shredder and Splinter realize that this is their chance to infiltrate each other’s base and take it down from the inside. They raise the suspicions of those around them, but – for the most part – the Turtles and Krang just attribute it to the knock they took during the fight.

The Turtles do begin to question Splinter during a training exercise where he fights more like Shredder. Krang then demands Shredder take a brain scan since he’s asking too many questions about science. Splinter is able to use his meditation to control his brain waves to match Shredder’s and ease Krang’s worries and then takes Bebop and Rocksteady back to the surface to get another device Krang needs to mobilize the Technodrome.

April swings by the sewer to check on Splinter, but an angry Splinter kicks her out because she’s distracting the Turtles. She turns to leave, but the Turtles leave with her because they understand now that Splinter is pulling a Bobby Hill and just ain’t right.

As they arrive on the surface, so too does “Shredder” and his mutants. The TMNT disable the mutants quickly and then set their sights on Tin Grin (which is my face insult they use on Shredder), but the Splinter inside him is able to convince them of who he really is and, together, they come up with a plan to take down the real Shredder.

The Turtles return home to an irate “Splinter” who verbally castrates them for leaving without finishing their chores, but they calm him down by saying they’ve located Shredder and can nail him for good. Splinter’s inner Shredder voice is excited that this is working out even better than he hoped for and still believes he’s not being suspected.

Splinter – in Shredder’s body still – returns to CyberTech Labs to try to set a trap for Shredder so they can reverse the mind-transfer. The Turtles arrive with “Splinter” and – although they know the deal with the switched-personas, Bebop and Rocksteady do not. During the heat of battle, Bebop charges at what he thinks is Splinter and battering rams the fuck out of him leaving his prone body one of the mind-transfer devices platforms. The real Splinter, seizing the opportunity, runs to the other platform and gives the signal to Donatello to activate the machine. The machine, however, is still damaged from last time and time is running short as Shredder – in Splinter’s body is about to come to. Rocksteady shoots his laser at Donatello who dodges it. It hits the control unit and activates the device causing another mind-reversal. Both Shredder and Splinter are prone on the floor, but the shot has caused the machine to short-circuit. The entire thing is about to blow and the TMNT take the chance that the reversal worked and rescue the body of Splinter before escaping the building.

When Splinter comes to, he has reverted to his body and everybody celebrates by having pizza.

Final Thoughts:

Well, not exactly a new and innovative episode, but at least the wrinkle of Shredder and Splinter changing bodies made it somewhat interesting. Thankfully, today’s episode was light years ahead of yesterday’s. Thankfully. Mercifully.

That being said it was still “unfortunate weapon that needs reverse polarity to alleviate the unintended effects” which I probably should have kept a score for how many episodes have the same premise.

I haven’t seen any of the current edition of TMNT and maybe I should to see what kind of writing and storytelling go on. I’m not a fan of the current wave of CGI animation that seems to be prevalent in all current cartoons, but maybe I should check it out just for comparison’s sake.

All in all, though, a thankful improvement over yesterday and something I’m not hating myself over watching.

Thanks to all those reading. See you tomorrow.

❤ Joe

 

Daily Cartoon! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S.3,E.3: “Attack of the 50 Foot Irma”

Another day, another episode of TMNT. Pretty decent show yesterday. Nothing much to say to lead-in today.

Let’s watch a cartoon.

S.3, E.3: “Attack of the 50-Foot Irma”. Original Air Date: 10/23/1989

Plot:

It’s Irma’s birthday and the Turtles are hosting a party for her. They hit up April to discuss the menu, but she’s filming a story at the planetarium because a meteor crashed last night and the Professor wants to show it off on the news. As the interview with April begins, a gas is leaked into the room and knocks out everybody allowing Shredder to capture the meteorite while the cameras are still rolling.

Krang crystalizes the meteorite because whatever it’s made from has the power to enlarge things. They test it on Shredder and it works just as Krang designed, but it was only a dry-run. Now Krang wants to head to the surface to really get it going.

Shredder shows up on the surface with the enlarger ray, but when it comes up from underground, it just so happens to have April hanging off the top of it which causes interference so Krang can start the ray. When it’s finally in position, Krang misses Shredder with the shot, but catches Irma who was just walking out of the ice cream shop.

It doesn’t happen immediately, but eventually the effects of the enlarger ray kick in and Irma starts to grow like whoa. She ends up busting a huge hole in the wall at the studio and then starts terrorizing the city just because she’s a complete klutz.She’s 50′ tall and has completely forgotten how to act or walk around New York. Common sense, bro.

Krang sends Shredder back to the surface to find another piece of that meteorite so he can use his ray for the purpose he had in mind and, because Irma has people scared for their lives, it should be an easy get since all the attention is on Irma.

The Turtles go on the hunt for the other piece of the meteorite hoping that they can use it to reverse the effects on Irma, but Shredder shows up with Bebop and Rocksteady and we get a squash match with Shredder and his mutants getting in zero offense. Bad news, Irma wakes up from a nap and is hungry. She heads to the city to find food, but the military shows up to destroy the huge menace that is Irma. But before anything can happen, the Turtles mix the antidote in with a shit ton of ice cream and Irma swallows it and returns to her normal form.

Everybody rejoices by having Irma’s birthday party as scheduled complete with like 20 different pizzas that Michelangelo made that all look identical.

Final Thoughts:

Completely worthless episode. Same old shit. New weapon. Unintended effects. Reverse polarity of said weapon to restore order. Shredder gets away with almost zero fight. I dunno. I guess as a kid you didn’t mind this kind of stuff, but with watching some cartoons that came about later over the past few years, I’m really disappointed with how this one has gone since the strong beginning.

I guess this is just a product of the era, maybe. It didn’t matter what the show did as long as it sold a fuck ton of toys which it most certainly did. Even as someone who wasn’t the biggest TMNT fan back then, I still wanted the toys desperately. They were great.

So short review today, just because there really wasn’t a lot going on. Tomorrow we get back on the horse.

❤ Joe

Daily Cartoon! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S.3,E.1: “Beneath These Streets”

Welcome to the Season Premiere! By this point, we were fully engrossed in TMNT-mania as evidenced by this show going from a weekly Saturday morning extravaganza to a now daily, syndication-style showing. Season 3 has a total of 47 episodes so it looks like I have my work cut out for me for this one.

As usual, I will be keeping up with these as best as possible. I try to make it daily, but if not, I’m not losing sleep over it. This is supposed to be fun. As you noticed, I took the weekend off so I could watch the new season of Fuller House and then my mom came to visit so that meant I got some free food. Good times.

I’m hoping for a lot more out of Season 3 as Season 2 kind of left me disappointed. Whether it’s the novelty already wearing off or whatever, Season 2 became very repetitive very quickly. And, when they did finally have a great episode (“Enter The Fly”), they did absolutely nothing to follow up on anything that happened and just went to the regular formula of Shredder’s new weapon for the day. Le sigh. Here’s hoping they pump a bit more juice into this season!

S.3, E.1: “Beneath These Streets”. Original Air Date: 10/19/1989

Plot: 

The Turtles are relaxing in the lair and Splinter is not at all happy about it. He thinks they should be training, but they feel like they deserve a bit of a break. Splinter says they’re losing their fighting edge and proves this by yelling, “HAAAAAAAAI SACAJAWEA!” before tossing all four of them around like lazy sloths. The Turtles are all, “…but Splinter! We sent the Technodrome to the molten center of the Earth!” And Splinter is like, “Show me proof, bro.”

Speaking of which, we cut to the Technodrome, where apparently the bad guys aren’t soaking in molten lava anymore. The Technodrome is low on power, though, and needs a bunch of repairs before they can get back to the surface. Krang sends Shredder to the surface in a drill car to pick up some parts.

Splinter sends the Turtles out on a patrol to keep an eye on the other criminals who aren’t Shredder or Krang, but still terrorize NYC, but they see a Kung Fu movie marathon is playing at a theater as they pass by and decide to get some “us” time. Splinter’s getting worried that his kids aren’t home yet and hits them on the TurtleCom, but to no avail since they shut them off before heading into the movies. Which, by the way, is 100% the right thing to do. Splinter then calls April, but she hasn’t seen them either and she has to go because she’s covering a story at a science lab.

The professor at said science lab is unveiling some new kind of special energy device which just so happens to be exactly what Shredder needs to bring back to Krang to repair the Technodrome. What are the odds?! Shredder, Bebop and Rocksteady steal the device and run off into the night. April tries contacting the Turtles, but, once again, their TurtleComs are off in the movie theater. Which, once again, is 100% the right thing to do.

April and Splinter go looking for the Turtles when it comes across April’s police scanner that Bebop and Rocksteady are causing a ruckus downtown. Splinter says that this confirms his worst fears: Shredder is still alive and is back on Earth. I suppose April didn’t confirm this to him earlier since she was at the science place that Shredder and his mutants barged into and stole the device that she was there to do a story about. Yeah, now thinking about it, why would she tell him? That’s not that important.

Regardless of facts, April and Splinter track down the villains and Splinter goes on the attack. He easily handles the mutants, but Shredder shoots him in the chest with his new energy laser device that he stole. Splinter is fading, but his one, last gasping breath he (apologizes for bleeding on your shirt…if you get that, you get it. If not…oh well) throws his walking stick toward Shredder with no umph on it. Shredder basically brushes it off, but it hit the laser at a weird angle and knocks a piece loose. Shredder grabs the mutants and they had back to the core of the Earth in their drill-mobile while Splinter is left to die on the floor of some basement. Riveting stuff.

April brings Splinter back to the lair and puts him under a blanket because I guess she’s a fucking nurse. The Turtles return home to find their sensei in a coma and immediately plan to find Shredder so they can get the laser back because by reversing the polarity they’ll be able to shoot Splinter again, but this time it’ll heal him. The medical knowledge in this group astounds me.

Shredder realizes he has to go back to get the part of the laser that fell off, but April picked it up and now the Turtles know Shredder will have to come back to get it. Shredder formulates a plan to try to draw the Turtles out since he figures they have the piece.

Raphael is patrolling the city in the Blimp and finds Bebop and Rocksteady causing havoc in the park. The Turtles crash their party just as Shredder planned. But yo…why the fuck doesn’t anybody in the city notice or care when the Turtles are driving around in a fucking blimp that clearly says “TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES” on it?

The Turtles take care of the mutants just as Shredder planned and they head home. Shredder plans on following them so he can knock them out with a gas grenade and steal the module piece they need, but they catch him snooping. He throws his grenade, but Donatello smacks it with his bo staff for a home to right-center sewer. The Turtles actually made super-quick work of the bad guys and make them look completely inept. It’s a joke.

Shredder reads in the paper that a new laser was built so he decides just to steal that one, but the Turtles are hip to his jive and catch him in the act. We get another battle where the Turtles once again make Shredder and his goons look like fools and recover the laser. They zap Splinter and bring him back to life. But he doesn’t get out from under that blanket because…medicine.

Shredder retreats to the Technodrome where Krang calls him a bumbling fool and Shredder puts a piece of metal over him because he may hate Krang more than he hates the Turtles.

Final Thoughts:

Wayyyyyyyy too much fighting. Made this episode feel a lot longer because the flow just wasn’t all that great. Fight. Recover laser. Shredder reads there’s a new laser. Fight. Recover laser. It was a bit much. I also hate that whenever something goes wrong on this show, all you have to do is reverse the polarity of Shredder’s weapon of the day and then re-zap the affected party with it to cure them. Lazy writing.

Other than that, the story of Shredder and Krang trying to get back to the Earth’s surface could be good, I suppose. I don’t know. I just feel like this show is completely stuck in their ways already.

I guess we’ll find out more tomorrow. Maybe that will excite me a bit more.

❤ Joe

Daily Cartoon! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S.2,E.13: “Return of the Technodrome”

Welcome to the TMNT Season 2 Finale! This is Episode 18 overall and things have been going swimmingly for the most part. We’ve had good times, we’ve had bad times, but all of them have been our times.

The Turtles continue to thwart Shredder’s efforts to take over NYC and then possibly the world by being the continuous thorn in his side that he’s completely unable to rid himself of. He’s had a couple of hope spots in the process, but has yet to really have the Turtles on the ropes. Maybe today that changes. Let’s not waste anymore time and get into it.

S.2,E.13: “Return of the Technodrome”. Original Air Date: 12/26/1988

The Story:

We check in quickly on all our regulars. April’s looking for a story. The Turtles are sending Splinter off on his yearly pilgrimage of fasting and meditation. Shredder is FaceTiming Krang.

Shredder’s begging for one more chance to get the Turtles and Krang decides that he needs to do it himself. He plans to bring the Technodrome back to Earth, but to do so, he’ll need an enormous amount of power to open a portal big enough for the Technodrome. He sends Shredder a device he wants attached at the hydro power plant at Niagara Falls. It should redirect the power needed to allow Krang enough juice to open his portal. Shredder is hyped to think he’ll have his Foot Soldier army at his command again. Shredder takes Bebop and Rocksteady to Niagara Falls and they seem to get there and take over the power plant in about 6 minutes.

The takeover causes a huge power outage and even NYC is feeling the effects. The Turtles obviously assume Shredder is behind it and grab the blimp to head to Niagara after picking up pieces of conversation between Shredder and Krang on a communicator. Even Splinter picks up some bad feelings during his meditation and makes his own way to Niagara Falls as if it’s as simple as hopping on the R train.

The Turtles begin picking off Shredder’s goons little by little until they’re able to infiltrate the power station and shut it down. Krang diverts the Technodrome’s auxiliary power to help force the portal open and is able to return to Earth. For some reason, he never thought to do that ever before. Shredder, now armed with a huge army orders them to attack, but Krang forces them to stop as he wants to destroy the Turtles himself. He arms his laser cannon, but the Technodrome has zero power left after burning it all to open the portal.

The Turtles take the opportunity and run. They’re able to call the Blimp back with their remote control and escape to regroup and figure out a way to take down Shredder and Krang.

The Technodrome recharges and starts drilling into the ground in an attempt to cause an earthquake of cataclysmic proportions. Krang takes over the TV airwaves and instructs anybody watching to bow to him because the jig is up. Splinter acknowledges that the final battle has now begun.

The Turtles hunt down the Technodrome and bust in looking for the circuit room to deactivate the earthquake causing mechanism. Splinter and Shredder both use the power of the force and break off to meet one on one. So it is written and so it shall come to pass.

Bebop, Rocksteady and a group of Foot and Rock soldiers find the Turtles in the computer room, but get overtaken with ease. Donatello is able to reverse the earthquake drill and the good guys escape and the Technodrome seeps into the molten core of the Earth.

It seems the bad guys have been vanquished for good this time so the Turtles, Splinter and April return to the sewers to have pizza.

Final Thoughts:

So Krang coming back to Earth and bringing the Technodrome with him is a big deal, but this episode feels completely rushed. Almost something they could have stretched out for a few. It felt really short although it did run the normal 22 minutes.

This was basically a good old-fashioned squash match as Shredder and Krang were stopped and stopped easily at every turn. Sure, the Technodrome is back from Dimension X, but they never had the Turtles reeling even for a bit. Once the Turtles were on to their devious plan, they were able to keep shutting it down.

Kind of disappointing for a season finale as now the Technodrome and everybody stuck inside (Krang, Shredder, Bebop, Rocksteady and the army of Foot and Rock soldiers) have sunken into the molten lava at the center of the Earth. I don’t really know what kind of exterior coats the T’drome, but I’ll just have to assume they’re all dead. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and their peaceful master, Splinter once again show zero regard for human life. Villain lives matter too.

So that will wrap it up for Season 2. I have absolutely no fucking clue where the hell Season 3 can possibly start-up now that all the bad guys have been killed off. I mean, I assume they get out of the lava somehow, but it sure didn’t look like they had a plan on how to do so as they were going that way. Part of me wishes I could have heard their screams as they were enveloped by the boiling lava.

Tomorrow, we begin a new chapter. Completely new since I have zero idea where or how this can possibly start, but Season 3 is when the show went to a syndication viewing schedule which means that in lieu of the weekly episodes on Saturday morning, it would now be airing daily in the big after-school hours for kids as they returned home. It’ll be interesting to see how the writing adjusts to accommodate such a schedule. I guess we’ll find out.

❤ Joe

 

Daily Cartoon! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S.2,E.9: “Splinter No More”

Welcome to the beginning of the work week and, with that, a new episode of TMNT. I don’t have any announcements or anything today, so let’s just get right into today’s episode.

S.2,E.9: “Splinter No More”. Original Air Date: 11/26/1988

Plot:

Michelangelo grabs some pizza for the boys and sushi for Splinter, but Splinter’s feeling kinda blue and doesn’t want to eat. Apparently, he’s been down for a while and the Turtles think it’s because he misses being human.

Donatello shows off a test tube that has what he says is the remainder of the mutagen that transformed them and thinks that, if he were able to get the right ph balance, he’d be able to turn Splinter back into Hamato Yoshi. Speaking of, even though he’s a rat, why can’t his name still be Hamato Yoshi? I dunno. I just feel that if Splinter and I had gone to high school together and years later he sent me a friend request, if it said “Splinter” instead of “Hamato Elizabeth” or whatever the fuck his middle name is now since that seems to be the thing, I’d probably deny that friend request. Actually, not true. I don’t deny them, I just let them sit there so people think I just don’t check that column.

Donatello mixes up this new mutagen into a Lysol can and sprays the fuck out of Splinter and, sure as shit, he is back to being Hamato Yoshi. The Turtles encourage him to go out and check out the city and he’s more than happy to. Once he leaves, however, the Turtles are worried he’ll never return.

April is doing a story at the Museum of…I don’t know, the Museum of Old Shit and catches Bebop and Rocksteady sneaking around. She FaceTimes the Turtles and gives them the 411. Shredder is there looking at books to help him open a dimensional portal anywhere he wants so he doesn’t have to depend on Krang anymore. How the fuck is this kind of information just sitting in a goddamn book and nobody but Shredder is looking to use it?

Meanwhile, Splinter’s walking around the park like a real old man because he doesn’t have any money to take a taxi. Now this brings up my next question. If Splinter doesn’t have any money, then it’s fair to assume the Turtles don’t have money. So how in the fuck are they constantly ordering pizza for dinner? Who’s paying for that shit? You know damn well there’s not a pizza place in NYC that would ever give anything for free. Fuck, if you were homeless and were on death’s door, they wouldn’t even let you take the crust crumbs off someone’s discarded paper dish. I guarantee the Turtles don’t have a fucking vault their dead parents left them filled with Galleons and Knuts. The Turtles don’t even have pockets. Where would they keep money even if they had it? And this is before ATMs and debit cards. Shit like this gets me all fired up.

So Splinter’s in the park alone and is about to get mugged by three assailants who can’t help but pick on an unarmed old man, but the muggers cower as they see the effects of the Lysol Mutagen wearing off and Splinter is beginning to transform back into a rat. Yeah, I’d fucking run off too. Especially when you see how poor he’s dressed. Probably wouldn’t have even been my target in the first place.

Shredder is back at the hideout and FaceTiming Krang to brag about his fancy book finds and saying he’s found the secret, abandoned subway station temple that makes this possible. Krang is like, “Go ahead, asshole, but don’t fuck up, ’cause there are dimension even worse than DX (Suck it!)”.

Shredder takes Bebop and Rocksteady underground to search for the temple. The Turtles have an idea what he’s after, but have to meet up with April to get a tape of her report on abandoned subway stations from last week. Splinter, meanwhile, is almost full rat and trying to escape to the sewers without being seen and doing a terrible job at it. Poor old boy has to duck into an alley to escape an angry mob.

teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-season-2-9-splinter-no-more-episode-14-tmnt-transformed-splinter-mob

Look at that face. Insert tear-drop emoji here.

Shredder calls Krang again to get him to send him some mutant brain-scrambler gizmo, but Krang is tight because Shredder is interrupting his shower. Which means we get this epic image on their FaceTime screen:

krangshower.jpg

Outrageous.

Shredder must have his device activated because the Turtles start having headaches and then attack each other. Finally April convinces them to chillax by asking them what Splinter would think. The whole situation does buy Shredder time to locate the Temple, though.He begins his incantation, but the Turtles but it up only momentarily due to Bebop and Rocksteady hitting them with stun guns from hidden positions. With them out of the way, Shredder begins his real spell, but is interrupted by Splinter who smelled incense once slipping back into the sewers.

An interdimensional portal is opened, but it’s not even close to the one Shredder was hoping for and it brings a cyclops, octopus beast with it. Shredder and crew escape and then the Turtles are able to get out just before the Temple collapses on itself due to the monster’s destructive force.

So they day has been saved. Splinter may no longer get to be a person, but he was able to save his homies in the clutch. All was well.

Final Thoughts:

I really want to know why only Shredder can find these maps and shit in these books that seem to be readily available at your local library. I may go to mine over the weekend and see if I can find anything similar.

Pretty standard TMNT fare, otherwise with the added wrinkle of teasing Splinter with the Hamato Yoshi turn. He seems to be OK with it at the end, but I’m sure if he was in that park a bit longer and saw some chicks tanning all oiled up and shit, it wouldn’t be that easy.

Not a bad episode, but nothing that will jump out. Still waiting to see the follow-up on Baxter the Fly.

That wraps us up for today. Questions and concerns can be directed to Twitter: @CarJoeMez or @MaximusSexPower or email CarJoeMez@gmail.com.

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Thanks for reading and we’ll get it again tomorrow.

❤ Joe