Ep. 45: The Fate of the Furious

Happy Monday! To welcome you back to the work week, we bestow upon you the latest episode in our never-ending saga to ingest entertainment, our 45th edition, it’s us discussing one of our favorite series, The Fast & The Furious, but specifically, the latest installment, THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS! How did it stack up on our Main Man Standings? How terrific is the Rock and Jason Statham? How great is “Danza Kuduro” from Fast 5? Another fun time spent with your favorite podcast hosts! Enjoy!

Episode 31: The Magnificent Seven

Hey! We’re back with a brand new episode! This week we talk quickly about the Mets, serving jury duty and then watch THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN both the “original” from 1960 and the remake from this past year. We also close with this week’s Big Finish: Top 3 *NSync songs. Enjoy!

Daily Cartoon! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S.2,E.8: “Invasion of the Punk Frogs”

Welcome to the Sunday edition of TMNT! We’re coming off what’s been my favorite episode thus far in the series and I’m fired up to get going today.

Quick programming note: check out the new episode of the podcast where we discuss SpaceJam, Legends of The Hidden Temple and The Simpsons 600 marathon on FXX. It may be my favorite episode we’ve done thus far. Find it on iTunes, Soundcloud, Stitcher and Google Play. Also, subscribe and review and all that fun stuff! All those things help us get the word out, so if you can do such a thing, it’d greatly appreciated by Gomez and I.

When we last left off, Baxter Stockman had been turned into a mutant fly and may have been vaporized by a machine of his making. Shredder also was able to convince Krang to send him Bebop and Rocksteady from Dimension X so he finally has a bit of a crew assembled. Let’s see if this helps him against the Turtles.

S.2, E.8: “Invasion of the Punk Frogs”. Original Air Date: 11/19/1988

Plot:

Shredder’s new plan is to get Krang to send him a canister of the Mutagen so he can make more mutant to use to fight against the Turtles. Krang thinks this is a great idea, but there’s currently an ion storm in Dimension X that may interfere with the portal. Shredder says they have to try it.

Well, the ion storm does indeed fuck with the delivery and the canister ends up in a swamp in Florida. Shredder is tight AF and gets dressed in his best Don Johnson-like threads to head to Florida to recover the Mutagen.

Shredder gets to Florida with the quickness and finds the canister, but is dismayed when it’s completely empty. He does, however, find a group of four frogs who’ve been transformed by the Mutagen and convinces them that he’s a swell guy and brings them back to NY so he can use them against the Turtles.

Bebop and Rocksteady are causing a little havoc around NYC to keep the Turtles busy, but they get called home by Shredder since he basically went to Florida and back in what feels like 10 minutes. When they get to the lair, he introduces them to their new co-workers: Attila the Frog, Genghis Frog, Rasputin the Mad Frog and, finally, Napoleon Bonafrog. This is exactly what it’ll be like when I have kids. Baby Skeletor, Baby Mike Piazza, Baby Honky Tonk Man, etc. Solid names.

Bebop is worried that the frogs will get their ass kicked because the Turtles are trained ninjas, but Shredder puts his fears to rest when he says he’s already trained them. So now he’s gone to Florida and back AND trained the frogs in martial arts in no time whatsoever. OK. He has the frogs rob a bank to test them and the news reports that it was the Turtles that did it so now the city is on high alert to rid themselves of the Turtles.

Shredder FaceTimes Krang because he needs more Mutagen, but Krang says the last batch was the last of it. He gives Shredder the recipe, though, and Shredder sends the frogs to steal all the ingredients. The Turtles get the iggy that the Frogs are breaking into the lab and head that way to stop them. They face-off, but the Frogs are able to use a distraction and get out of Dodge before any real battle can take place. They’re really teasing the heat to build the drama here.

It’s worth noting that the Frogs are having ethical battles within themselves over all this stealing. They know it’s wrong, but Shredder’s been so nice to them, they just accept that he knows best and go along with it.

There’s one more chemical needed for the Mutagen and the Turtles have April track it down for them. The Turtles catch up to the delivery truck and – sure as shit – the Frogs are there to stop it and get the chemical. Just as they’re about to rumble, the NYC Anti-Turtle Task Force comes rolling through in a fucking tank and uses an ice cannon to freeze the frogs before turning it on Turtles. Raphael is able to knock the ice cannon off track which gives the Turtles the chance to hightail it out of there, but not before taking the frozen Frogs with them.

On Splinter’s direction, the Turtles are told to show trust to the Frogs and they melt them free of their icy confines. After a brief moment of tension, Splinter is able to act as peacemaker and the Frogs realize that Shredder has been lying to them the entire time. The two groups of mutants then hatch a plan to foil Shredder for good.

The Frogs returns to Shredder and tell him that, although they weren’t able to get the chemical, the overheard the Turtles saying that they’d hide it inside a prison where Shredder wouldn’t be able to find it. Shredder loves good intel so he immediately sets out to retrieve it.

Shredders busts into what he thinks is the storage room in the prison only to find out he’s been double-crossed! But, at that very moment, the NYC Anti-Turtle Task Force shows up and throws the sting into chaos. Shredder uses a crystal ball to disguise Bebop, Rocksteady and himself as Task Force cops and they escape leaving the Turtles to deal with the real cops.

The eight mutants head back to the sewers where the Turtles give the Frogs a map on how to get home to the swamps of Florida. They’re very thankful because they miss swamp life. Michelangelo offers them a pizza to tide them over on their trip, but the Frogs HATE pizza. The Turtles can’t believe that anybody would hate pizza and the Frogs turn to head home.

Final Thoughts:

Fun episode here. The Frogs were a weird touch, but I kind of remember Genghis Frog being a thing. Does he come back at some point? I feel like he does. I don’t know. Maybe I’m making that up.

The Frogs had these weird southern accents that – as someone who lives in Florida – I dunno, they weren’t very good. Although, I also don’t hang around the swamp areas so maybe they’re accurate in those parts.

I was always under the assumption that Shredder had created the Mutagen and here, he needs the recipe from Krang to be able to cook up some more. It makes me wonder why Krang was so dependent on Shredder to build his body. I guess he just needed a pair of hands to put it together, but Shredder had always been portrayed as a regular old Mr. Science in addition to a martial arts master so this kind of threw me of. Didn’t take me out of the episode or anything, but there we are.

So, it seems that – at least for now – we’re off the multi-episode story arcs for a bit. Since the Eye of Sarnath was destroyed, Shredder’s plans haven’t carried over much. In this episode, Baxter Stockman didn’t even make an appearance after his huge role in the prior episode. Kinda crazy.

Either way, still a fine episode and looking to see where we go next.

❤ Joe

Any comments and concerns can be e-mailed to CarJoeMez@gmail.com or through Twitter @CarJoeMez or @MaximusSexPower

Thanks for reading, folks.

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Ep. 25: SpaceJam & Legends of the Hidden Temple

Hey! Our new episode is up for your listening pleasure! This week, we recap our Thanksgivings and how that led into both of us diving into The Simpsons marathon on FXX. We also discuss the new LEGENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE movie that aired on Nickelodeon and, in celebration of its 20th Anniversary, we revisit the 90s classic: SPACEJAM. Enjoy!

Daily Cartoon! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S.2,E.7: “Enter: The Fly”

Welcome to the Friday edition of our special meet-ups to discuss the classic TMNT series! Thanks for coming! It’s been a good week here at Car JoeMez as we’ve gotten back into the swing following the Thanksgiving weekend and have been keeping up with not only this, but we’ll have some super sweet podcast action coming at you ASAP!

I know you’re not supposed to play favorites, but I really think our next episode which should be out tonight is our best yet. We were cracking up the entire time and I’d expect nothing less from you, our faithful audience. Thanks for continually coming back whether it be here or with the podcast as our listens have skyrocketed over the last couple of weeks. You certainly know how to make a girl feel special.

Enough niceties for now, let’s watch a cartoon!

S.2,E.7: “Enter: The Fly”. Original Air Date: 11/12/1988

Plot:

The Turtles are up in the blimp floating around NYC because April passed along a message saying Shredder was spotted on the roof of the World Trade Center. Yikes. Fifteen years later and it still makes you squirm when seeing the WTC.

The Turtles get close and see Shredder up there with Baxter Stockman as they’re testing out a new piece of equipment that is supposed to set a force field around the towers. Baxter forgets some nerd shit, though, and his machine kind of backfires. The bad guys spot the Turtles, pack up and run off because they can’t risk losing the equipment.

Shredder and Baxter are next seen on a garbage barge because that’s where Krang decided to set up the trans-dimensional portal because he thought it’d be hysterical to see Shredder up to his knees in garbage. Shredder begs for help and gets Krang to agree to finally send him Bebop and Rocksteady back, but SURPRISE there’s a catch! The portal is finicky and one person must be sent back to Dimension X to assure the portal doesn’t fail. Shredder is all too excited to throw an unwilling Baxter to Dimension X because of all his recent failings. Bebop and Rocksteady are returned to Earth and Shredder hatches a plan to strike the Turtles at their weakest point: April O’Neil.

Cut to April at her desk at Channel 6 and she gets a flower delivery. Irma sees this and immediately goes into her, “I wish a man would send me flowers” gimmick that she does. Let’s talk about Irma for a second.

OK, so she’s not exactly your classic cartoon scorchcake, but am I wrong thinking that there’s a lot of potential here? Put the hair down, some nicer clothes and a little eyeliner and I think we have a potential SHE’S ALL THAT winner. Sure, her voice is annoying and her constant yearning for a man is off-putting, but she could probably look really good with a little work and – with that seems to be low expectations for men – would probably be all about you if you put in some effort. I see no reason that her and I wouldn’t have an awesome time getting some apps at TGIFriday’s and getting to know each other before maybe going to see whatever the new Will Smith movie is. Just thinking aloud here.

But I digress.

April assumes the flowers are from the Turtles and heads to the sewers to break up with them because they’re from different worlds. Apparently, 1988 is still a rough time for interracial relationships. Also, how fucking jiggy does this chick think she is that she’s ready to let down all FOUR of them? C’mon, honey, you walk around in an unflattering yellow jumpsuit everyday. Sure, one, maybe two of them are into you, but all four? That’s some ego you’ve got there.

Splinter answers the door, immediately recognizes the plant as dangerous and throws it in a trash can. He asks April if she’s inhaled the petals’ fragrance and she faints as she’s answering in the affirmative.

Meanwhile, Baxter is not adjusting well to life in Dimension X. Krang makes no secret that he has zero use for him and has his guards throw Baxter in a giant X-Ray type machine. What looks to be a common house fly is shown to also get locked in and, once the machine is turned on, I guess the DNA of the two is mixed

baxterfly

and we get…

baxter_the_fly

…ta-fucking-da. Baxter is now a fly man. As opposed to the Fly Girls from “In Living Color”.

art-of-easing-history-hip-hop-fashion-style-1990-fly-girls-in-living-color-bike-shorts

But Baxter must have taken a page out of their book because he’s ready to do what he wants to do…in living color. What is it that Baxter wants to do? Well, go back to Earth, for starters. He grabs a laser from the weapons bin and opens the portal from Dimension X. Krang and his guards attempt to stop him, but Baxter is able to hold them away with his laser and get through the portal quickly thanks to his new fly form which he is having no problem whatsoever adjusting to. Good for him.

The Turtles return home to see Splinter caring for April and he informs them that her condition is grave because of the plant she was sent. Splinter knows how to make an antidote, but needs a special leaf that would be nearly impossible to find in New York. Thankfully, Raphael knows about a greenhouse uptown that deals in rare plants so they go check out the merchandise.

Krang hits up Shredder on FaceTime and explains the whole Baxter situation. You know, supposed to get vaporized, but this pesky fly got in and cross-mutated him. Regular fucking Tuesday.

Baxter is shown flying through the city where he is swearing revenge on his enemies. He just so happens to see the Turtles on their way to the greenhouse. They get into a tussle, but the Turtles escape through the sewers and, though Baxter laments them escaping, he promises Shredder won’t. The Turtles don’t know that it was Baxter, but Donatello thinks he’s kind of familiar.

Baxter goes looking for Shredder and is shot out of the sky by Bebop and Rocksteady. Shredder sweet talks Baxter and convinces him that this transformation was all the Turtles’ fault and that they were friends the whole time. Baxter’s all like, “Riiiiiiiiight, the Turtles. Because we fight them together!” You don’t just give up on your friends, bro. Unless they make you take a not-even-that-embarrassing picture at a wedding. In that case, you delete them for laughing at you.

The Turtles get to the greenhouse and – what luck – they get the last Gazai bush in the Western Hemisphere. April better appreciate the fuck out of this after she was ready to break up with all of them. Even though – at no point – has it even been suggested that she’s a Mormon with four boyfriends.

Baxter locates the Turtles and Shredder, Bebop and Rocksteady join him for a sneak attack! They’re able to escape to the Blimp and get away from the fight, but Leonardo drops the plant needed to cure April. Shredder patches into their TurtleCom frequency and FaceTimes the Turtles to challenge them to a fight if they want their plant back. It’s obviously a trap, but c’mon now, this is the last Gazai plant in the Western Hemisphere. What choice do they have?

They meet at a junkyard where they’re immediately ambushed. Shredder’s big plan is to push the Turtles back until they get in range for that device he was playing with at the beginning of the episode which is supposed to…I dunno. Kill them, I guess. I mean, that is his end goal, right? Well, it doesn’t matter because, just in time, BAH GAWD! THAT’S MASTER SPLINTER’S MUSIC!

Splinter comes speeding through in the Turtle Van firing lasers at the baddies and interrupting Shredder’s big plans. The Turtles are able to grab the plant after it’s knocked from Shredder and Baxter – in an attempt to get it back – gets caught in that force field thing and looks to have been vaporized.

Splinter is able to revive April and they celebrate with a new pizza creation from Michelangelo that is topped with the remaining leaves of the Gazai plant. Babyface go-home.

Final Thoughts:

Yo! This episode was dynamite! Action! Drama! Laughs! This was a packed 22 minutes of animation and I loved it. I didn’t realize Baxter became the fly so early on in the series. But I remember him being significant as the fly so it’s just my memory failing me.

No bullshit, I loved this episode. The endings on these are kind of whack, but it’s gotta be left open for tomorrow’s battle so it’s not like it ruins it or anything. I’m totally interested to see what happens with Baxter since I’m sure they didn’t just kill him off at the end there. Unless they actually did, in which case, I really don’t remember this show for shit.

Either way. Looking forward to tomorrow’s episode. Have a great weekend, all!

❤ Joe

Remember to check out The Car JoeMez Podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, Soundcloud & Google Play.

Any comments and feedback can be sent to carjoemez@gmail.com, or you can reach us on Facebook or through Twitter @CarJoeMez or me personally @MaximusSexPower

Thanks for stopping by, San Diego.

Daily Cartoon! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: S.2,E.5: “Curse of the Evil Eye”

Welcome back to another episode of TMNT. The shit is hitting the perpetual fan when it comes to the Eye of Sarnath. We still don’t know all the power it holds when assembled, but it’s gotta be serious AF since the dead alien said so.

So let’s not waste any more time, on to the next episode…

S.2,E.5: “Curse of the Evil Eye”. Original Air Date: 10/29/1988

Plot:

Donatello builds another new device to help them track down the third and final crystal piece that makes up the Eye of Sarnath, but despite this hot new tech, Shredder and Baxter again beat them to it and now has all the fragments. They got it out of the river which is great because we get Shredder dressed as Paddington Bear. He puts them together and then attaches the completed Eye of Sarnath to his helmet so he can increase his brain power…and utilize the powers of the alien device through mind control, obvi.

raincoat-shredderwater

Meanwhile, Baxter Stockman is hungry AF after a job well done and picks up some Chinese. I don’t blame him. I’ve been dying for good Chinese food since moving out of NYC. I have places around here that are OK, but it just doesn’t compare. Although, when I visited my Mom over the weekend, we went to a place by her and it was pretty good actually. Don’t take good Chinese food for granted, folks.

The Turtles are still hunting for the Eye and spot Baxter leaving the Chinese place, but he sees them and uses his special eyeglasses to expose them out of their disguises. The Turtles still track the signal back to Shredder’s hideout, but he uses the power of the Eye to bring the red dragon on the side of Baxter’s Chinese food box to life. Leonardo and Michelangelo jump on the dragon to try to stop it from causing anymore of the unneccessry deaths we’ve become accustomed to just as April, Verne and Blodgett (the news van driver) are out looking for a story.

Blodgett is terrified and drives off while April and Verne were trying to get a closer look. Donatello and Raphael battle with Shredder and during the melee, Donatello knocks off Shredder’s helmet causing Shredder’s mind control over the Eye to disappear. Blodgett ends up picking up Shredder’s lost helmet after driving the van into the river and getting fired for being a moron.

Shredder is flipping out over losing the helmet, but Baxter is hot on the trail because he picked up Donatello’s new tracking device and is getting the signal. Blodgett, meanwhile, is realizing the mind control of the helmet and creates a huge comic book collection. Baxter is quick to discover him and steals the helmet with relative ease because Blodgett is completely inept.

Baxter’s not exactly being humble and uses the power of the Eye to build himself a Taj Mahal to live in right next to the fucking East River. Real conspicuous, asshole. The Turtles are obviously wondering where this fucking Taj Mahal came from and end up in a new fight against some kind of glue monster that Baxter thinks up.

Shredder does the hot run-in and is fucking pissedddddddddd that Baxter is using the helmet for himself and didn’t just give unlimited power over to him. Shredder breaks through the glue man and steals his helmet back before trapping the Turtles in a shrinking bubble and taking off on a flying carpet to destroy the Interstate Bridge.

April and Splinter hit the room after receiving an SOS on the Turtle Com and free the Turtles. Blodgett tells the Turtles that the Eye has no effect on gold and April calls her friend who’s conveniently the head of a museum and gets him to lend the Turtles gold shields so they can fight Shredder. It’s good to have friends in the right places.

Shredder is sure he’s got this in the bag, but he’s also holding the Sarnath-tracker which was built to destroy the Eye once it comes in contact. Shredder throws the helmet and device in the river and they explode. Thus ends the saga of the Eye of Sarnath.

Final Thoughts:

This arc kind of goes out with a whimper. I think they could have done a lot more with the effects of Shredder having control of the Eye for some time and the tension it would cause between him and Krang as well as what it means for the Turtles, NYC and the world!

The finish felt like a cop-out. The Turtles didn’t really defeat Shredder. He just carried around the tracking device for whatever reason and didn’t realize that this asshole, Donatello, rigged it to blow the thing up.

Besides that, we get some good tension between Baxter and Shredder with Baxter feeling he’s intellectually superior and thereby truly the one deserving of the power. But it’s weird because Shredder’s not exactly a dumb jock. He’s like part Mr. Science too and built Krang’s body with his bare hands. Maybe Baxter is just THAT smart.

I really love the visual of Shredder in his rain gear. It is stupendous.

Obviously, this isn’t the end of Shredder, but I’d assume he’s going to have to humble himself in front of Krang now. That should be interesting.

All in all, still enjoying the show, but yeah, a little disappointed with how this tale ended.

Favorite Quote:

While Baxter has the Turtles at his mercy, he brags about how he was able to defeat them and Shredder was not…until Shredder hits the room and says,

“I’ll bear that in mind Baxter, when I’ve delivered your eulogy, you traitorous vermin!”

I love when the heels use that kind of disparaging language.

Thanks for reading and we’ll see you again for tomorrow’s episode!

❤ Joe

Daily Cartoon! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S.2,E.4: “Mean Machines”

Greetings and welcome back to another episode of TMNT. My Thanksgiving break lasted a bit longer than I expected since work was hella busy when I got back, but I’m here now. Ready to fulfill all your needs and wants.

I hope everybody had a great holiday. I certainly did which is why you haven’t heard a word out of me. Quickly, before we start, I just want to say thanks to all who are listening to the podcast as we’ve been hitting some good numbers all month. We’ve blown away all the numbers before so thanks for tuning in and remember to subscribe on iTunes, Soundcloud, Stitcher and Google Play. Leave a review too. That shit matters.

OK, so when we left off, the Turtles and Shredder were in a race to find the missing pieces of an alien crystal that combines to make the Eye of Sarnath and grants the holder all sorts of alien powers. So far Shredder has been a step ahead of the Turtles during all of this and keeps escaping barely with the crystals still in his possession.

Which brings us too…

S.2,E.4: “Mean Machines”. Original Air Date: 10/22/1988

Plot:

We begin with Donatello building a new tracking device for the crystals of the Eye of Sarnath since the one the Turtles were given by the alien apparently broke or needs new batteries or something. So much for the advancement of alien technology.

So they have this new gizmo and it leads them to a bank where there just happens to be a robbery taking place. The Turtles can barely go out at all without stumbling into some kind of crime wherever they go. A tough life they lead.

The Turtles take care of the bank robbers in short order, but were followed to the bank by Shredder and Baxter who apparently know where the Turtles are every second of the day and, at no point, just fucking murder them in their sleep to get rid of them for good. I mean, if the Shredder’s end-game is to rid himself of the Turtles, why not just do that? Stick a hose leaking carbon monoxide into the sewers or put cyanide in their pizza. Or hide under their beds and slit their Turtle throats as they meet with Mr. Sandman. There’s legitimately tons of options here.

Shredder and Baxter locate the next piece of the Eye of Sarnath while the Turtles are occupied and head back to the hideout so they can FaceTime with Krang and tell him Shredder’s new plan to utilize the power of the crystal by soldering it to a computer which I guess will make it a super computer or something. Krang and I agree that this plan seems a little ridiculous, but whatevs.

For some reason, despite having a device that leads you to the crystal, the Turtles are up shit creek without a paddle once Shredder has it. It’s like he’s still living in the one area of town that doesn’t get service from Verizon.

Shredder puts his plan to work when he breaks into a computer lab and attaches the Eye of Sarnath to a big computer mainframe that has some sort of artificial intelligence. He uses it to track the Turtles to a construction site where they were meeting April. The computer sends some sort of energy signal through the power lines of NYC to activate the previously unused construction vehicles nearby to attack the TMNT. The Turtles, obviously find a way out of this sticky situation, but the computer is not satisfied and begins draining all the energy from all the power plants across the city and activates all sorts of machines which begin causing absolute chaos in NYC.

The Turtles are finally able to track Shredder, but the computer realizes what’s going on and takes control of the Turtle Van causing it to crash. The computer continues to draw more power so Shredder can open the portal to Dimension X and summon his Foot Soldiers without needing Krang.

The Turtles bust up the party, though, and put an end to the computer’s reign of terror by turning it off, but not before Shredder and Baxter once again escape.

Final Thoughts:

This Eye of Sarnath arc is getting a little difficult for me to understand. I could have sworn Shredder already had two pieces of it, but apparently, today’s discovery at the bank was the second. I may have to go back and re-watch an episode or two as the notes I take during the episodes say one thing that doesn’t necessarily jive with what’s happening on-screen.

Either way, this plot by Shredder today was fucking dogshit. Attach a crystal to a computer? Hasn’t he seen The Terminator? Just a matter of time before that computer would have eventually turned on him too. Basically, the Turtles did him a favor by cutting that computer off.

One thing of interest at this point is that there aren’t really a lot of supporting characters yet. April has her news team, Shredder has Baxter, the Turtles have Splinter, but Krang, Bebop and Rocksteady have been used very sparingly and there hasn’t been much in terms of new characters or alliances or anything which leaves for a very exclusive world. It could just be me, but I could have sworn the universe expands if, for nothing else, just to expand the toy line which was massive at the time.

Maybe that’s coming and I’m just jumping ahead of myself.

Either way, that’s where I am. This story-arc is a bit convoluted and I’m waiting for more characters so I can buy toys.

That being said, the episodes are still fun and go rather quickly which is great because it makes you want to see the next one. And I still want to see the next one. So even with the issues, the show hasn’t lost my interest.

Sorry again for taking so long to get back to this, but like I said, I enjoyed my little vacation and am now back to the grind. I’ll keep pumping these out as best as possible.

Thanks for coming by and I’ll see you tomorrow.

❤ Joe

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Ep. 24: Fantastic Beasts & Where To Find Them

We’ve made it to Episode 24! This week we talk about the new movie, FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM as well as the entire Harry Potter universe since Joe is a huge nerd for it. We also go over our Thanksgiving plans and include some general fuckery as per the norm.

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Daily Cartoon! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S.2, E.1: “Return of the Shredder”

Welcome back to the premiere of Season 2 of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! When we left off yesterday, our heroes had banished Shredder, Krang and the Technodrome to the fiery hell of Dimension X to the delight of Krang and sorrow of Shredder.

Things have been kind of peaceful in New York since then as the only crimes left are the ones we’re used to like muggings and shit. Those are OK.

But where does that leave our beloved heroes in a half-shell? Only one way to find out…

S.2, E.1: “Return of the Shredder”. Original Air Date: 10/01/1988

Plot:

Leonardo and Michelangelo are at the supermarket picking up the necessities when a couple of bad hombres storm the joint in a robbery attempt. The Turtles snuff out the threat fairly easily and the cashier comps their groceries as a thank you for saving her. Leo and Mikey slip outta there quickly before the cops show up. April O’Neil and her news team show up to the scene and get an interview with the cashier where she explains how the Turtles saved the day.

Meanwhile, in Dimension X (here to referred to as “DX”…I won’t do the Suck Its today) Shredder is whining about how losing to the Turtles was an accident and that Krang needs to send him back to Earth because he wants to rule Earth, not DX. If I was Krang, I’d send this dude back with the quickness just so I didn’t have to listen to his incessant moaning. Finally, Krang gives in and allows Shredder to return, but keeps Bebop and Rocksteady in DX.

April’s back in the newsroom where she’s trying to convince her boss, Burne Thompson that the Turtles are the good guys, but he ain’t having it. We find out that this is because Burne’s new girlfriend, Tiffany, hates turtles and those who sympathize with turtles. To be fair, I don’t blame him. Burne is a tubby, middle-aged man and – based on his wardrobe – ain’t making a lot of money, so to have Tiffany who’s probably around 20 years his junior and is definitely a piece has to be considered a score and quite frankly, I’d hate the Turtles for her too.

Shredder is walking around NYC and has a mugging attempted against him, but he stops it quickly and the realizes he’ll need to assemble a crew since Krang isn’t allowing him any of his minions. I assume he checks the yellow pages for “Corrupt Karate Schools” as he ends up at the “Slash For Cash Dojo” and immediately shows off his ninja skills and the trainees along with their sensei, Smash, fall in line immediately.

Shredder uses his new henchman to carry out crimes while disguised as turtles. They even cut promos to any cameras in the vicinity calling themselves “The Crooked Ninja Turtle Gang”. The public is quick to buy into their shitty costumes and sentiment is starting to get negative towards the real Turtles. He then frees Baxter Stockman from an insane asylum because…well, what criminal mastermind DOESN’T need a mad scientist on his team?

Baxter builds a new rat catching machine because it seems to be his specialty and, once again, Splinter is captured by the bad guys. The Turtles follow the trail and are led to the Crooked Ninja Turtle Gang whom they beat in a rather one-sided affair before going to track down Shredder’s new hideout at the Slash For Cash Dojo.

Sidebar: what aspiring karate student signs up for lessons at a place called the Slash For Cash Dojo? Seriously. What in the fuck do you think you’ll possibly learn there? I’d really like to sit down and talk to the parents who signed permission slips for their kids to attend the Slash For Cash Dojo and train under master Smash.

OK, back from my tangent. So the Turtles arrive at the Dojo and find Splinter tied up, but there’s a battering ram booby trap that is going to flatten our favorite rat. Baxter drives into the suddenly spacious dojo in his rat-catcher mobile, but the Turtles fend him off and the machine takes the brunt of the battering ram just as Leonardo is able to free Splinter. Whew. That was a close one.

Shredder and Baxter escape and Krang chews out Shredder for losing again. He says he won’t be sending any help for Shredder until he proves himself. April arrives on scene and does a report detailing the events and saying that the Crooked Ninja Turtle Gang was a hoax and that the real Turtles are heroes.

Final Thoughts:

This is probably the weakest of the six episodes thus far, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. There’s a lot of nonsense to get through to get us set up for the ensuing season, but they seem to be able to do that within the first couple of minutes.

The show, despite still being in its infancy, continues to play to its strengths which are not taking itself too seriously and just having fun characters, fights and verbal interactions. The stuff between Shredder and Krang is great. Baxter plays the inferior henchman role incredibly well and the Turtles are distinct and unique from each other which keeps you from getting sick of them. It’s a pretty good formula.

So we’ve scratched the surface on Season 2! We will have to keep coming back to see what – if any – help Shredder can get from Krang who seems happy as a pig in shit in DX and how that will improve his chances of finally being able to dine on Turtle Soup.

See you tomorrow.

❤ Joe

Daily Cartoon! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles S.1, E.3: “A Thing About Rats”

Welcome again to another episode of TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES! So far, you’ve apparently been into this as evidenced by the uptick in our web traffic so I hope to keep you coming back after today’s offering.

Season 1, Episode 3: “A Thing About Rats” Original Air Date: 12/16/1987

OK, so after the big fight from yesterday, we open with Splinter recovering at home. He’s pretty worn out and who can blame him? This was a lot of action for the old guy after years of sitting in a sewer meditating about being kicked out of Japan. The Turtles decide to go searching for the Technodrome so they can force Shredder to turn Splinter back into a human being. They’re incredibly thoughtful.

At this point, we cut away and are introduced to Baxter Stockman. Or – as I called him aloud while watching this – “Oh, shit! It’s that dude!” I completely forgot that this was a guy in this despite him being a black scientist who looked like Eddie Murphy’s Nutty Professor in the most recent movies. Intense google research has shown that apparently Baxter was always a black guy until this cartoon and was magically transformed into a caucasian. Now, that, I did not know. I wonder how much of an uproar that would have caused if we had the internet in 1987. Probably a fuckton.

Yeah…what? Oh, um…Baxter, yeah. So he’s a regular old Mr. Science and he’s developing Mouser robots that are specifically programmed to catch rats. He’s thinking he’ll make a killing selling them to pest control companies. He’s wrong. The pest control man refuses to take on robots at the expense of human jobs. He’s probably a union guy.

Shredder has some fucking HD surveillance cameras basically fucking everywhere and sees Baxter getting rejected by the pest people and decides to bring him in for a meeting to discuss business since he has a rat problem.Shredder has a new base set up in an abandoned mansion. Personally, I’d like to know who his real estate guy is that was able to hook him up with such a place in the middle of New York City. I’d assume Krang is the money guy on it, but Krang is also being a bitch about getting the new body that Shredder keeps putting off building so maybe he’s tightened the wallet for the moment. I don’t know. I don’t even know why I think about some of these things.

Shredder tells Baxter to build an army of Mousers and to make a master control so he can have them carry out his plan with the push of a button. It sounds like a lot of work, but apparently Shredder’s got a full-blown factory in the mansion and they’re able to pump out hundreds of these Mousers in like ten minutes.

Splinter is home meditating when he’s attacked by a bunch of the robots. He fights valiantly, but is close to defeat when the Turtles do the hot run-in, save him and destroy the Mousers. Each one has Baxter Stockman’s stamp on the bottom, so the Turtles do their best Sherlock Holmes impression and decide to go ask him some questions. Before doing that, they make a quick stop at April O’Neil’s apartment to leave Splinter with her and so she can use her computer to get Baxter’s contact info. Sure.

Baxter is released by Shredder after building all these fucking Mousers, but Shredder has him tailed by Foot Soldiers because the dude knows too much. Just as the Foot are about to make their move, the glass shatters and BY GAWD, THAT’S THE TURTLES’ MUSIC!

The Turtles save Baxter from being injured and destroy the Foot Robots. The persuade Baxter to give up Shredder’s location, but upon realizing how easy the Mousers were able to track Splinter the first time, they head back to April’s to find her and Splinter under attack from a massive wave of Mousers. Our heroes are able to save their friends and barely escape the apartment building right before it collapses because of the damage the Mousers caused. Let’s take a brief time-out here.

Repeat: “…right before it collapses”.

The entire fucking apartment building collapsed. Rubble. Down to the floor.

HOW MANY FUCKING OTHER PEOPLE JUST DIED IN THIS FUCKING APARTMENT BUILDING COLLAPSE?!?!?!

Neither the Turtles nor April show any concern for her neighbors. Emergency services are not dispatched. The News doesn’t even cover this catastrophe. There may be survivors in there. We’ll never know.

But April does provide a humbling word as she takes a look at the destruction where her home once was, “Boy, they sure don’t build them like they used to!”

*FACEPALM*

With a dearth of dead innocents in their rear view, the Turtles focus on getting to the Mansion. Donatello attempts to control the Mousers using Baxter’s remote, but Shredder’s overrides the control. Michelangelo tries sneaking into the Technodrome, but is captured by Shredder who then sends the Mousers to combat the other Turtles and Splinter.

Krang saves Michelangelo because he’s a salty fuck about not having a body yet and tells him where the Master Control is located so he can save his friends from the wrath of the Mousers. Michelangelo baits Shredder into FUCKING SHOOTING at him and ducks out of the way so Shredder basically takes out the master control. Donatello is then able to use his remote to send the Mousers for the gas pipes. Everybody fucking bails as the mansion goddamn explodes and another building it brought to rubble.

 

Final Thoughts:

What in the greenest of fucks just happened here? There are definitely dead people. Probably lots of them. And nobody gives even the remotest of damns. Holy shit.

Beyond the scores of innocent lives probably lost, the show continues to roll along with a pretty good story and good fun. Sure, I got caught up on the building collapsing on  people, but that’s just me. Apparently, nobody else in the show seemed to care about that, so maybe I shouldn’t either.

Outside of that, this was another solid installment that advanced the story, introduced us to Baxter and introduced the Turtles to Krang who – up until this point – had yet to see/know of him.

I’m a fan and look forward to tomorrow. Grade: ***1/2*.

❤ Joe