Welcome to the Thursday edition of the Daily Cartoon on Car JoeMez! I’ve been trying to keep a good variety with this so today, we’re heading back to the 80s to catch an episode of Rainbow Brite!
I don’t remember how popular this was since I was really young when it was a thing, but – as a character – Rainbow Brite has had a pretty decent run. From being a big star for girls in the 80s to being a wonderfully slutty Halloween costume for those same girls once they grew up, she definitely has her fanbase.
Halloween is the best.
I assume I’ve seen at least an episode of this show at some point, but I’ll be damned if I remember anything about it. I do, however, remember that it was the theme of my pre-school graduation in…1986, I think. Pretty sure that’s the right year. That seems to line up. You know who would know this? My mom. Hold on, I’m going to call her and see what she says.
Mom (picking up phone): Hey, what’s up?
Me: Quick question, when I graduated pre-school, the theme was Rainbow Brite, right?
Mom: Yes, actually, I think you’re right.
Me: And what year would that have been?
Mom: Let’s see…you were born in 1981. In September of 1982, you would have been one. In September of 1983, you would have been two…
Me (inner monologue): Is this really happening right now?
Mom: …in September of 1984, you would have been three…
Me (inner monologue): Holy shit, she’s serious…
Mom: …in September of 1985, you would have been four…in…yes, so, yes, 1986 is right.
Me: OK, that’s all I needed to know. Thanks.
Note: This was a legitimate, honest-to-goodness telephone call between my mom and I.
So now that we’ve solved the mystery of when I graduated pre-school, let’s actually talk about Rainbow Brite. I had no idea, but the character of Rainbow Brite was first created by Hallmark in 1983 (when I was two, as my Mom would say). In 1984 (when I was three), the cartoon was first introduced in a primetime special and then licensed to the fine people at Mattel for toys and other bullshit. In 1985 (when I was four), Rainbow Brite And The Star Stealer, an animated movie was theatrically released before the cartoon series was brought back for 12 more episodes in 1986 (when I was five).
So, OK, Rainbow Brite had a pretty decent run in the 80s and has been revived for a bunch of remakes and reboots since then. All terrific, I’m sure. So what’s this show about? Well, for the second straight day, I’m going to quote the geniuses at Wikipedia because – just like yesterday – if I wrote this on my own, you’d think I was doing the pot (that is only slightly worse than heroin, according to Republicans).
In Gen 1 continuity, and most of the franchise‘s backstory, a young girl named Wisp is brought to a gray, desolate land with the mission to bring color to this fictional world by locating the Sphere of Light. Along the way she befriends a furry creature (called a sprite) named Twink, a magnificent horse named Starlite and finds a mysterious baby who turns out to be the key to her mission. With the help of her new friends, Wisp locates the legendary Color Belt and rescues the seven Color Kids, who had been trapped by the King of Shadows. Using the Color Belt, Rainbow Brite and the Sphere of Light defeat the King of Shadows, liberate the sprites and bring color and beauty to the land, henceforth called Rainbow Land. Wisp is renamed Rainbow Brite in honor of her new role as leader of the Color Kids, who are together in charge of all the colors in the universe.
The Color Kids spread color across the universe from the Color Console inside the Color Castle. Each Color Kid works is in charge of her/his respective color. She/He has a personal sprite and he manages a number of like-colored Sprites that mine Color Crystals from the nearby Color Caves. These crystals are processed into Star Sprinkles which are the essential components to brightening and coloring any object or place. Rainbow Brite and the Color Kids’ mission is often complicated by the likes of Murky Dismal, his sidekick Lurky, and other villains. Brian, a boy from Earth, sometimes assisted Rainbow Brite in her adventures.
In the movie Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer, the setting expands to include the diamond planet Spectra. All the light in the universe must pass through Spectra before coming to Earth. However, Earth soon falls into a wintry darkness when the diamond-obsessed Dark Princess decides to steal Spectra for her own. Rainbow Brite and her horse Starlite must team with Spectra’s boy warrior Krys and his horse shaped rocket On-X to defeat the powers of darkness and save Spectra, Earth and the universe.
Good fucking god, this is going to be amazing. I feel it in my fucking bones.
Let’s watch a cartoon.
Rainbow Brite E.1: “Peril In The Pits”
Originally Aired: June 27, 1984 (when I wasn’t quite three yet)
We open with a boy, Brian, returning home from school all depressed about not making the team. His dog, Sam, keeps barking at him because a shit ton of rainbows just start decorating the sky out of nowhere and this morose motherfucker is way to melancholy to even look up.
Rainbow Brite appears on one of the rainbows a top her trusty, flying steed, Starlite and with her personal sprite, Twink and is intent on getting this kid to look at the fucking rainbows because she doesn’t believe anybody can be upset when looking at rainbows. It’s three minutes in and we’ve already found out that Rainbow Brite is an idiot.
Rainbow reveals herself to Brian and explains they’re from Rainbowland and are responsible for putting the color in the world. Sure. I suppose there are jobs out there for everybody if you look hard enough.
Rainbow douses this kid in all sorts of colors and he’s rightfully pissed off about it. Apparently, the only way to get all the colors off him so he can go home and have dinner with his parents is by taking him to Rainbowland.
At this point, we meet Murky and his dimwitted sidekick, Lurky. They hate Rainbow Brite and colors and they want to make everything drab and colorless in order to destroy happiness and hope. Everybody has a fucking cause these days. Murky’s big plan is to steal Rainbow’s color belt by spraying her with his Gloom Spray that will…I guess turnover the belt to him. Yeah, that sounds about right.
Rainbow returns to Rainbowland with Brian and is greeted by the Color Kids: six kids who are each in charge of one color of the rainbow. That’s when – SUHPRISE – Murky pops out of the bushes with the Gloom Spray that does nothing while Rainbow just destroys it with a spritz of rainbow from her magic belt. Murky and Lurky run off, but promise their next plan won’t fail so easy.
Wait. That was the whole fucking plan?! Just one shot of Gloom Spray?! This guy doesn’t have a fucking prayer of ever getting this belt away from Rainbow.
Rainbow sends the Color Kids to keep watch on the Star Sprinkles just in case Murky tries something, but they’re apparently useless, since Murky hits them with a dose of Gloom Spray almost immediately. He takes the Color Kids as prisoners and grabs a handful of Sprinkles thinking they’ll come in handy later on. That’s called foreshadowing, folks.
Meanwhile, Rainbow gets word of the Color Kids’ capture just as she cures Brian from his rainbow skin tone. Her and Brian hop on Starlite and head to The Pits where Murky and Lurky live. Rainbow tries using the Color Belt, but its powers don’t work in The Pits. How will she ever rescue the Kids now?!
Murky traps and captures the rescuing heroes in no time AND gets Rainbow’s belt away from her! Now he can sap all of the color from Rainbowland!
Murky and Lurky head to Rainbowland and start making everything suck. Today, he starts with Rainbowland and now, with Rainbow’s belt, he can steal the color from the entire world!
Rainbow gives an inspirational speech to all her fellow prisoners that – for all intents and purposes – is equivalent to…
All the colorful people are crazy inspired and escape in time to foil Murky’s plan and to get the belt back so Rainbow can restore all the color in Rainbowland.
After a brief celebration, Rainbow returns Brian to his home where I guess he learned a valuable lesson about not letting shit bother him and to appreciate rainbows or something. Fuck if I know. Either way, he’s got a crush on Rainbow Brite and can’t even text her because they haven’t invented ways to communicate with girls in 1984 (when I wasn’t quite three yet). This is a sad ending now that I think of it.
This is silly and I fucking loved it. Seriously, the good people at Hallmark must have had the best drugs when they came up with this right here.I have to watch the movie now. Have to. That’s going to be a Friday movie day somewhat soon on this blog, folks. Take that to the bank!
I wonder if Rainbow and Brian have that long “will they, won’t they” relationship. I mean, there’s only a movie and 12 more episodes so it can’t be too long, but I’m rooting for them. I doubt Rainbow gets to meet many boys outside of Rainbowland and instead of falling into what would feel like an arranged marriage with one of the male Color Kids that would probably be unfulfilling and bland, she needs a new and exciting Earth boy in her life. Go get you some, Rainbow Brite, go get you some.
I found this on YouTube, but there are some DVDs out there for the series and the movie. I think you’ll like it so go check it out and, as usual, bring those comments this way when you do.
See you for movie day tomorrow!