Daily Cartoon! MIGHTY MAX: E.8: “Norman’s Conquest”

Welcome to another edition of the Daily Cartoon on Car JoeMez! Today we have another special request as this was sent in by Steve who listens to the podcast. You should listen too! Find it on iTunesSoundcloud or wherever you get your podcasts. Remember to subscribe, like, comment and review because we love all that stuff.

Today’s show is Mighty Max. This is another show that I know in name only. I’ve heard of it, never seen it, never owned toys and never played the video games. So, I had to head to the handy-dandy internet to do some background research on this show before I just jump in blind.

Apparently, Max is just a kid who gets an Egyptian statue mysteriously sent to him one day. He drops the statue and it smashes revealing the cap that becomes his trademark. He is then introduced to Virgil and Norman who become his crew and they travel around the world defending Earth from Skullmaster and his minions.

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OK, this sounds pretty fun and an easy-enough premise. The show ran for 40 episodes between 1993 and 1994 and seems to have a pretty loyal following. I’ll be honest, I’m kind of looking forward to checking this out after the little bit of research I did. Sounds like a good time.

So, with that said, let’s watch a cartoon!

Mighty Max: E.8: “Norman’s Conquest”

Originally Aired: October 27, 1993

Plot:

So the opening theme sequence shows Max, Virgil (some kind of wizened bird friend…you can tell because he wears glasses) and Norman (a kind of Viking bodyguard heavy) traveling through space and time via transportational portal as they fight the Skullmaster and his associates. OK, I get the basics. So far, so good.

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We open in Boulder, Colorado where a couple of excavators have unearthed an old-looking axe that they’re going to send back to England to have cataloged. One of the explorers takes the items they’ve found and sets off while the other stays behind to continue digging in the ice and snow.

Suddenly, a giant monster erupts from under the thick ice. The remaining explorer begs for his life and is swatted away for his troubles. The monster screams for Norman.

We cut to Max in school, just about to take a test, but when he looks at his paper, he gets an urgent message with directions to a portal. Max fakes an illness to get out of the test and heads to the portal. He arrives in a junkyard where he’s met by Virgil and, also, the monster from Boulder – who is called Spike – who is tossing wrecked cars around like it’s nobody’s business.

Norman arrives on the scene and it’s immediately obvious that him and Spike have a history together. Just when it looks as if Spike is going to finish Norman, Max uses a giant magnet-crane to pull Spike away and drop him in a compactor. They assume he’s finished, but Spike emerges almost immediately and continues causing a ruckus as Max and friends decide to run.

The trio thinks they’ve gotten away from Spike and during a slow moment, Norman fills us in on his back story with Spike. Ten-thousand years ago, Spike’s clan invaded Norman’s town. Norman’s father is killed by Spike while Norman is just a boy and Norman blames himself for not being able to get his father his axe in time.

The three return to Norman’s home: Boulder, Colorado to retrieve the long-lost war-axe. Spike is already there waiting, but Norman has come to terms with having to eliminate Spike to eradicate the guilt of his father’s death. While Norman and Spike do battle, Max and Virgil find out from the remaining explorer who is still there that the axe has been discovered, but is now in England.

Virgil is able to open a quickie-portal so they can retrieve the axe in England and get it to Norman who could use the confidence boost that wielding his father’s axe would bring. The crew is able to get the axe from the English museum and get it to Norman who gets the Hulk-up boost from having the weapon.

Norman, in lieu of slicing up Spike, just knocks him off the side of a cliff where he is then buried by an avalanche. Norman then takes some alone time to pray to his father and return the axe to him spiritually.

Final Thoughts:

First impression, this show was a lot less exciting than I had imagined it being. A lot hinges on the ability for Virgil to read some scripture about where portals can be found, but when they needed a portal to retrieve the axe in England, it felt like they were able to drum one up without issue.

Also – and this is a continuity issue – when they do get the axe, they didn’t bring it back through the portal with them. They had some museum security guards to distract to give themselves the chance to escape, but they leave the axe behind once they do create the diversion. Just something that really bugged me while watching.

All in all, nothing of much depth here. I wasn’t very into the characters and the story was pretty weak. Spike never seemed like a major threat and it felt like it was just a matter of time before he was vanquished.

This may have just been a weak episode as a whole. It’s hard to judge a series by just one installment, but there wasn’t anything about this show that makes me feel like I need to sit down and watch the series from the beginning. It’s not something I’d never watch again, but nothing I’m in a hurry to watch more of either.

Apparently, there is a DVD set out there if you’re looking for more Mighty Max. Like I said earlier, it’s only a 40 episode series so it wouldn’t consume your life if you decided to binge.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you tomorrow.

❤ Joe

 

Daily Cartoon! GARGOYLES: S.2,E.27: “Golem”

Welcome to the Monday edition of the Daily Cartoon. I’ve even impressed myself with how consistent I’ve been with this so far. Also, keep the suggestions and requests coming. I will get to all of them. Promise.

Before we get going, remember to check out the weekly show, The Car JoeMez Podcast on iTunesSoundcloud or wherever you get your podcasts. If you have the time to click like on all those episodes or leave a review on iTunes, that would be very much appreciated, so please do that.

Today’s episode was actually a special request by my brother, The Meat Man.

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He’s big into the cartoons as well so he requested this right away when he saw what I was doing. Yes, that is his actual high school photo.

Today, we’re watching Gargoyles and I’ll be honest, I’ve never seen an episode of this. This came out in the mid-90s when I was already old enough to be too cool for cartoons so beyond just having never watched it, I literally know nothing about it.

When that happens, though, I just do some handy-dandy research in the ole Google and find out some stuff. What’s cool about this show, though, is that, the more I read, the more interested I was becoming in actually seeing this show. Outside of the actual premise, which – on paper – is whatever, it’s had some incredibly impressive write-ups such as being ranked 45th on IGN’s 2009 list of the Top 100 animated series.

The show ran for 78 episodes from 1994-1997 and received favorable comparisons to Batman: The Animated Series which is pretty big since that Batman series is fucking terrific. I know a lot of uber-Batman people and their Batman is The Animated Series.

This show became known for similar dark tones and complex story and character arcs that helped build the cult following it still enjoys today. It even received my favorite tie-in treatment: an officially licensed video game!

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The game, apparently, was your basic side-scroller and had zero relation to show canon, but who knows, I may still look for this now and try to pick it up. Buying up old games of shows and movies that I talk about on the podcast or write about here has become my new thing.

The basic story here is that the Gargoyles are stone by day, and protectors of Scotland by night, but one day they are betrayed by the humans that brought them into existence. Some are killed, the rest, cursed to stay forever in stone until the castle they’re force upon touches the sky or some shit like that.

A thousand years later, a NY billionaire buys their castle and has the Gargoyles moved to Manhattan where the curse breaks and they can begin protecting the people at night again. Supposedly, the writing leans heavily on MacBeth and A Mid-Summer Night’s Dream and, since I was that one kid in your high school English class that actually enjoyed reading Shakespeare, I already have a feeling I’m going to be into this and may need to buy DVDs so I can actually really watch it. We’ll see. Maybe I shouldn’t get too far ahead of myself.

Anyway, let’s watch a cartoon!

Gargoyles: S.2, E.27: “Golem”

Originally Aired: December 14, 1995

Plot:

The opening sequence gives us pretty good background on what the general plot of the show is. It’s appreciated.

Early on, I’m not really following everything that’s happening. There’s obviously a significant amount of continuity between episodes so I’m stuck trying to pick it all up. That’s not a bad thing. Hell, I prefer that in all actuality, it’s just that – for the format I’m currently doing – it can make things difficult.

So here’s what I’m currently following:

Goliath is the leader of the Gargoyles. He’s been dealing with a human man named Renard about possibly being able to get back home. I’ll assume the home he refers to is New York since I believe this episode takes place in Prague.

The Golem, which is a Jewish defender of old lore is about to be awoken for the first time in 400 years, but is stolen by a group of mercenaries hired by Renard. For what reason? I don’t yet know.

Just so we’re on the same page, I literally paused the episode about 12 minutes in just to try to recap a bit since I am trying to pay close attention and follow this. So far, I’m a fan of the animation and I totally get the comparisons to Batman: The Animated Series that I mentioned earlier.

OK, back at the ranch…

The Gargoyles and their NYPD friend Elisa Maza get a briefing on what the Golem is and the history behind it. Goliath immediately takes off to go find Renard because he has always known him to be a man of integrity.

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When Goliath arrives at Renard’s a ceremony is about to begin. Renard is a frail, old man who is confined to a wheelchair and he has come upon an incantation that will transfer his soul into the body of the Golem allowing him to live again. These rich guys always seem to have a problem facing their mortality. Not like I blame them. If I were rich like that, why would I ever want to die? Hell, I don’t wanna die if I’m poor either.

But I digress…

Goliath is forced back by weaponry and Renard and his assistant complete the spell transferring Renard’s soul into the body of the Golem. Goliath tries to stop him, telling Renard to not choose this path, but Renard – now with the strength of the stone Golem – knocks him out before going on a walk around town to feel what it’s like to have mobility and freedom of motion again.

The Golem returns to the house it was stolen from with the purpose of destroying any book or spell that may contain a way to defeat it. Other gargoyles get tossed aside easily before Goliath is able to jump back into the fray and talk sense into his old friend, Renard.

The Golem/Renard back up with the “what have I done” realization and returns to have the spell reversed and deal with his future as it comes. The Golem is returned to the people who were trying to awake it in the first place so they can use it for its true purpose: defending the citizens of their town from these criminals who have taken too much control.

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Renard offers Goliath transportation back to New York for all of the Gargoyles as a thank you for helping him save his soul, but Goliath turns him down because he says they have other business to attend to.

Final Thoughts:

Not something you can just jump into in the middle of like I tried doing here, but I definitely have some takeaways:

  • As already stated, I completely see where they get the comparisons to Batman, but it’s not like this is a carbon-copy. It comes from mood and coloring and works very well here
  • For not knowing basically anything about this show going in, I still liked it an awful lot. I have a genuine interest in tracking down this series and starting from the beginning.
  • The writing feels intelligent, but not like it’s trying to talk down to you. This is not just another paint-by-numbers cartoon. This is actually a quality program.

So those are some quick things I learned from watching this. Obviously, with everything I’ve been watching lately and am trying to watch as time rolls on, it will be hard for me to really give it the time it deserves, but it’s something I’ll definitely move to my list.

If you were a fan of this in the 90s, I totally get why. May be a little much for certain people because of the fantasy elements of it being gargoyles and I know some people just can’t deal with that, but it’s fun, it’s smart. If you’re like me and haven’t seen this before, do yourself a favor and check it out. You’ll be glad you did.

Thanks for reading.

❤ Joe

Daily Cartoon! Super Mario Bros. Super Show: E.48: “Flatbush Koopa”

Welcome to the Sunday edition of the Daily Cartoon on Car JoeMez! Came across this one on Netflix the other day and thought it would be fun to watch so BAM here it is.

Before we going, listen to the podcast, The Car JoeMez Show. New episodes available weekly on iTunesSoundcloud or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen, subscribe to the show, leave us a review on iTunes or Stitcher of like and leave comments on Soundcloud. All of that helps.

Today we’ll be watching The Super Mario Bros. Super Show which debuted in 1989 and ran for 65 episodes. This was at peak Nintendo mania and if you put Mario on anything people would watch and buy it at that point. Seriously, there were some action figures of NES characters, of course, but they even had a fucking Nintendo cereal! Think I’m joking?

That shit was 100% real. And probably made a gazillion dollars.

Obviously, we were begging for more of our favorite Nintendo heroes, so eventually they gave us this show which – speaking strictly from memory – was a syndicated deal that would give you a different episode everyday after school. Fridays were special events as – in place of a Mario and Luigi adventure – you were treated to The Legend of Zelda and were walked through the trials and tribulations of Link. If I’m remembering that incorrectly, feel free to let me know, but these things take long enough to write as is.

My brother and I used to love the shit out of this show. We would even get our mom to buy us the commercial VHS videos because they were available in that Troll Books thing you would get at school. Remember that? Like every month, you’d get a circular, basically, of just books and then you’d beg your parents to buy everything for you?

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You totally remember this. Don’t try to play coy with me, bro.

Anyway, they started putting Mario VHS tapes in this and we had a bunch. I think my brother may still have those actually. I should ask him. Not that I want them or anything, I just want to know if they still exist. They survived a lot of spring cleaning and donations over the years because they were in a little-used, low-traffic closet that we’d honestly forget we even had most of the time. Memories.

This series is on Netflix now and I just picked an episode with a short title so it didn’t clutter the header as much. That’s the kind of exact algorithm that goes into selecting the shows, folks. Let’s get to it.

The Super Mario Bros. Super Show: E.48: “Flatbush Koopa”

Originally Aired: November 23, 1989

Plot:

We start off with the sick rap intro that’s partially live-action with WWE Hall of Famer, Captain Lou Albano, in the role of Mario. In all honesty, if you’re not excited to watch this show after that, you may not have a soul.

The live-action portion begins with Mario and Luigi being awoken from their sleep as a neighbor is practicing their opera singing. They don’t know how they’re going to handle dealing with all this singing so while they think about it, we transition to the cartoon.

The cartoon begins with a parade in the Mushroom Kingdom because the Bros have finally defeated Koopa and sent him packing. Everybody is hyped and probably getting laid tonight. With this huge task taken care of, Mario and Luigi decided to get back to Brooklyn. Of course. They hope in the open drain and – BING – back in Brooklyn!

Unfortunately for them, as they take in the sights of their hometown, they see the Statue of Liberty, but the head has been replaced with that of Koopa! Turns out, leaving the Mushroom Kingdom was all a big ruse by Koopa to take over the Bros’ home. Koopa and the Koopa Troopers start changing all the signs in town to reflect some take on Koopa. Coney Island? Koopa Island. Brooklyn? Kooplyn.

Honestly, in 1989 Brooklyn could have used a refresher like this. I suppose I’d feel different had I lived there, but let’s call a spade a spade: fuck Brooklyn.

Back in the Mushroom Kingdom, Toad and the Princess are bored AF now that Koopa’s been run off so they decide to jump in the pipe and visit the Brooklyn Kingdom. And it’s not a moment too soon as Mario and Luigi are desperate for some help in beating off some Koopa Troopers. Princess says since the Bros. helped save her homeland, she’s going to do the same for them. What a woman. Ride or die.

They lure Koopa back into the Mushroom Kingdom by stealing his scepter that turns shit into bricks. So Brooklyn has been saved, but the battle for the Mushroom Kingdom will continue.

Back to live-action, Mario and Luigi are unclogging a toilet, but can’t even concentrate because Opera Lady is still having at it. So, Luigi tells us to watch scenes from the next The Legend of Zelda while they think of another plan to deal with her.

This episode looks fierce. Link’s a ghost and Zelda is a sassy broad who doesn’t like his shit. Link has a bit of a Corey Feldman vibe to him. I wouldn’t deal with his shit either.

Back in live-action, the Mario Bros. fight fire with fire and begin singing themselves until the neighbor finally agree to stop just to not have to hear them anymore. Hit the music because it’s time to do the Mario!

Final Thoughts:

If you’re not familiar, “Do The Mario” was the end credits song and dance you would do with Capt. Lou leading you through it. It was rad.

As far as the show, I’m going to say positive things! The live-action stuff is cheesy, sure, but it’s in small doses and serves its purpose. The actual cartoon was pretty OK too. If you’re not familiar with the Mario characters, that’s on you, but seeing them here was fun and despite a brief absence from the Mushroom Kingdom, the battle we all know and love continues.

This episode went by pretty quick for me and I had fun with it. Not everything needs to be Shakespeare. This was fine for what it was and I certainly see why I loved this as a kid.

Thumbs up.

Thanks for reading.

❤ Joe

Daily Cartoon! Josie & The Pussycats: E.5: “Midas Mix-Up”

Welcome to another edition of the Daily Cartoon on Car JoeMez! Many thank yous to everybody who has been coming by and checking these out as our web traffic here has been really good so it’s nice to know that there’s people sticking around to read these.

As always, remember to check out the weekly show, The Car JoeMez Podcast on iTunesSoundcloud or wherever you get your podcasts. Even if you don’t listen, just stop by, leave a review, like a track. But you should listen. We have a good time and you will too.

Today’s cartoon is Josie And The Pussycats which was produced by Hanna-Barbera and had a run of 16 episodes before they repackaged the show as Josie And The Pussycats In Outer Space. Outer space will have to wait for another day, because today we’re focused on the original.

I really didn’t (and still don’t) know too much about this show other than it was a chick rock band and I think they solved crimes between gigs kind of like the Scooby-Doo crew. I don’t ever remember watching this as a kid, but I do recall little snaps of Josie and the Pussycats performing their song about themselves after – now that I think about it – episodes of Scooby Doo. If I’m wrong, feel free to correct me.

So, obviously, I did a little research about this show and found out that this came into existence because of the success my double main-man, Lou Scheimer, and his crew at Filmation had with The Archie Show. That was a huge hit and even led to some big record sales, so Hanna-Barbera wanted in on that. Josie was another property of Archie Comics so Hanna-Barbera snatched up the rights and tried to set the stage for a huge animation showdown. Or maybe not. They just really hoped it would be as successful as Archie and lead to good merchandising opportunities with music and such.

It’s probably safe to say that never happened, but it did inspire a live-action Josie movie released in 2001 that starred Rosario Dawson, Tara Reid and the uber-lovely Rachael Leigh Cook who I used to have a huge crush on. I’m sure she reads this blog so that will be embarrassing for me when she sees it. I’m actually a fan of the movie. I like it a lot. I own it on DVD. Shut up, it’s fun.

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Let’s watch a cartoon.

Josie And The Pussycats: E.5: “Midas Mix-Up”

Originally Aired: October 10, 1970

Plot:

Let’s start with just introducing our cast of characters since even I’m unfamiliar with them.

Josie – The lead singer and guitar player. Romantically linked to Alan, their roadie

Valerie – Tambourine player and mechanical wizard

Melody – Drummer and airhead

Alan – Roadie and basically Fred from Scooby-Doo

Alexander – He’s kind of the manager/agent of the band also basically Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. He – like Shaggy – is voiced by Casey Kasem so they don’t even try to hide the resemblance.

Alexandra – Twin sister of Alexander, she is insanely jealous of Josie because she feels like she’s the real talent even though she’s not even in the band and she also wants to get down with Alan because, I suppose, chicks dig kerchiefs.

Sebastian – Alexandra’s cat who can be mean, but also helpful.

OK, so now that we know everybody, we open with the entire crew arriving to a ski lodge in a van. The Pussycats are going to be playing here, but will certainly have time to relax and get some skiing in.

There’s a golden castle shown on the top of the mountain and, inside, we’re introduced to Midas. He’s a horrible human being and is hellbent on making all of the world’s gold disappear with his super-spray he’s developed. Why he would want to do this is – as of this point – unclear.

The girls play a quick show on what appears to be a frozen pond and then goes skiing. Alexandra sabotages the crew because she wants to show up Josie and impress Alan and the entire team ends up crashing and landing on a cable-car that takes them to Midas’s castle. Even though they just made a mistake, Midas deals with them as intruders and describes his evil plan. They ask him what good making all the gold disappear will do him, which is a terrific question, and he states that the world will give him half of all they gold or else he’ll make it all disappear. Well…OK, then.

They get slammed in a prison where the floor is opening beneath them. Luckily, Sebastian the cat distracts the guards and frees them all. Look, what happens next is literally a Scooby episode with different characters. It’s not fun, it’s not creative.I mean, literally, you have two characters who are really just Fred and Shaggy under different names trying to save the day from a weird villain and his evil plans.

Hell, the Midas guy even refers to them as “those meddling kids”.

At some point, we get a ski chase to give us time to play a song in the background to hopefully sell some Josie records, but it’s just too long and too stupid.

Spoiler alert, they stop Midas and save the day.

Final Thoughts:

Look, I completely get what they’re going for here and I love the whole idea of a female rock ‘n roll group. But the execution of this is so piss-poor. It literally is just Scooby-Doo with small pieces of the band playing or having a song in the background to justify the whole “them being a band” thing.

I understand there’s a significant amount of time between the two, but this show needed to be more Jem & The Holograms. That show did a female music group right. With Josie, there’s just no depth to the story, characters or writing and it’s a complete issue of laziness to give you what amounts to Diet-Scooby. Garbage.

If you’re interested, I’m sure there’s a Hanna-Barbera Classics DVD collection of this somewhere out there. I, however, found a bunch of these episodes on YouTube in good quality. By all means, go check it out and if you disagree with my opinion, I’d love to hear why. Let’s talk it over. Otherwise, thanks for coming back today.

❤ Joe

Ep. 37: JOHN WICK

A new week comes with a brand-new episode of the show! If you’re not familiar with the JOHN WICK series, it’s time you became familiar! We discuss both chapters of the JOHN WICK saga thus far as well as dive into Gomez’s favorite season of the year: Candy Time! The boys share their love for Cadbury chocolate and then close up shop with the Big Finish: Top 3 Supervillains! Find us on iTunesSoundcloudStitcher or wherever you get your podcasts!

Daily Cartoon! Bobby’s World: S.3,E.10 “Baby Brother Blues”

Welcome to the Friday edition of the Daily Cartoon on Car JoeMez. We’ll be sailing into the weekend with this one today, but, as always, remember to check out the weekly show, The Car JoeMez Podcast, on iTunesSoundcloud or wherever it is that you listen to the highest of quality podcasts.

I assume that nowadays, people think of Howie Mandel as the guy from Deal Or No Deal, but if you’re around my age, you know him for two things: always checking to make sure he’s not under your bed (I’m not explaining this. You either get it or you’re wack AF.) and Bobby’s World.

Bobby’s World was about the stories and imagination of 4 year-old (when the show first premiered) Bobby Generic and his dealings with the adults and siblings in his life. It originally debuted in 1990 and -shockingly, to me at least – lasted eight seasons. I remember it being a solid show that people liked, but nothing that took over the mainstream by any means. Like, yeah, I knew a bunch of people who watched it, but it was never the thing you couldn’t wait to talk about with your friends.

The show was created by Mandel and he even does the voices for both Bobby and his father, Howard. Supposedly, he’s spoken about the possibility of a revival for this show, but c’mon. There are plenty of things we need before getting new episodes of Bobby’s World. Just one man’s opinion. You don’t have to agree with it.

So, now that our background is out of the way, on with the show!

Bobby’s World: S.3, E.10: “Baby Brother Blues”

Originally Aired: November 14, 1992

Plot:

We open at the Generic house where Bobby is bothering his sister, Kelly, to shift through the mail to see if his Captain Squash (the primo superhero to all the kids) game has finally been delivered. The house is madness right now because Bobby’s mom, Martha, is primed to go into labor any minute and Howard – the pops – is nervous AF.

Bobby sees that his game was delivered, but it’s on the counter where he can’t reach and nobody will help him because they’re all catering to Martha who is obviously uncomfortable. The game gets tossed around a bit until it lands on top of the fridge. Bobby then goes into a fantasy segment where he’s a famous mountain climber trying to reach the peak of the frozen tundra where his hero, Captain Squash is trapped, frozen in a block of ice desperate to be rescued. It comes to an abrupt end, however, when Howard yells at Bobby for climbing on chairs, effectively breaking the fantasy. Bobby is already resenting the unborn baby because nobody wants to just give him his game so he’d shut the fuck up.

Bobby’s heated and decided to pack up and move so he doesn’t have to compete with the baby for affection. Where is he moving? To the French Foreign Legion, of course! Back to a fantasy sequence where Bobby is dressed like Napoleon and insults all the French soldiers because he hasn’t exactly mastered the language. He decides that the French are assholes, Lloyd, and runs to a waiting spaceship to take him to a different planet. When his brother Derek breaks the fan this time, Bobby decides to live in a blanket fort for his entire life.

Derek finally brings Bobby his Captain Squash game, but, of course, it’s fallen off the refrigerator and into a bowl of lentil soup and is broken. Bobby tries to get Howard to fix it, but once he’s again ignored, he smashes it on the floor. Howard gets fired up and tells him to go outside until he can behave himself.

Now, I don’t have kids, but if I did, I don’t know if sending them to sit outside like Dino from The Flintstones is quite the way to get a small child to realize the error of his ways. I don’t know! Maybe I’m completely wrong and you parents out there can tell me all about it. This just wouldn’t be my go-to punishment.

After a quick dream about going to a “Former Baby Brothers” support club, Bobby is rushed into the minivan because Martha’s going into labor and they need to get her to the hospital. After some time well spent in the waiting room, Howard emerges with the news that Martha’s had twin boys! Everybody’s excited except Bobby who doesn’t even want to go in the room to meet his new baby brothers. A nurse who resembles a black Betty Rubble says she’ll look after Bobby and takes him on a tour of the hospital that concludes with a visit to the nursery. Bobby sees his new brothers for the first time and just like Tazz, the mood changes.

He can’t wait to teach them everything he knows about being in the Generic family. We close up with Bobby being chased through the halls of the hospital by the entire family because he’s running around with the stroller carrying both newborns. What could possibly go wrong?

The show finishes with a scene of live-action Howie Mandel with his cartoon family in the hospital with an appearance by Paul Anka who sings “You’re Having My Baby”. What a moment.

Final Thoughts:

This show is fun. Nothing too serious, the characters are cartoony enough and the fantasy sequences for how a 4 year-old is interpreting his surroundings come off creative and imaginative.

I know I used to lose myself in fantasies like that all the time when I was a kid. I wonder is the same can be said for kids today, though. Sure, I don’t have them, but I have a shit ton of little cousins and whenever I see them, they’re all sitting quietly to themselves each holding a tablet or someone’s phone. They don’t even have interest in toys anymore and that kills me. Toys are the best.

More importantly, because kids don’t play with toys, it makes it more expensive for jerks like me since the toy companies have to make up those extra profits somewhere and I get hit with a bigger mark-up.

Yo. Fuck kids.

❤ Joe

Daily Cartoon! The Dick Tracy Show: E.24: “Escape From Sing Song”

Welcome back to the Daily Cartoon! Today we went back in time machine and pulled out something new. But before that, remember to listen the weekly show, The Car JoeMez Podcast on iTunesSoundcloud or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, leave a review, tell a friend. We love that stuff.

Today’s cartoon is The Dick Tracy Show. When the movie starring Warren Beatty and Madonna came out in 1990, these episodes got a new life on TV and I loved them. Hell, everybody loved Dick Tracy for that one summer. He was everybody’s double-main-man. That didn’t last very long as the movie was trash and the cartoons disappeared, but pretty much everybody I knew then had some kind of DT merch whether it was t-shirts or action figures. Dick Tracy even got my most favorite tie-in of all: an officially licensed Nintendo game!

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Sure, it was also available on GameBoy and I think even Sega Genesis, but this was the only one I ever played so it’s the only one that matters. I actually bought a copy of this game again a few years back so I could relive all the good times. To my chagrin, there weren’t many good times to be had.

Let’s talk about the cartoon, though, since that’s the reason we’re here. It was originally produced in 1961 and featured one season of 130 five-minute episodes. That was something I didn’t remember. I wonder how many of these five-minute episodes they would show each day. That’s weird.

The show actually got pulled from syndication in the 1970s because of the ethnic stereotypes and racial undertones featured in the show. Now THAT is something I really don’t remember! But, all of a sudden, I’m soooooo looking forward to this.

A lot of these episodes are uploaded in pretty good quality on YouTube, so after a quick scan, I just picked one with a fun-sounding title. Being that this is only a five-minute episode, I don’t expect this recap to be very long, but if they jam-pack this five-minutes with racist undertones….oh, man. I am excited.

The Dick Tracy Show: E. 24: “Escape From Sing Song”

We open with our man, Dick Tracy, sitting in his office and finishing up a phone call with the Chief. Tracy uses his wristwatch communicator to get in touch with Hemlock Holmes, who is a dog, about The Brow and Oodles who are planning a break at Sing Song State Prison. He tells Hemlock to get over there ASAP to foil these plans.

As Hemlock approaches, the alarms start blaring from the prison as The Brow and Oodles come bouncing from behind the walls while strapped in to electric chairs.

You know what this calls for.

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A Zack Morris Time-Out.

First off, yes, I said “bouncing”. Literally hopping as if the electric chairs they’re in are goddamn pogo sticks. They bounce, so high, in fact, that they fucking Super Mario stomp Hemlock Holmes as if he were a goddamn Goomba.

Secondly, and perhaps more important, THEY ARE STRAPPED INTO FUCKING ELECTRIC CHAIRS!! What the fuck kind of prison is this?! How bad are these prison guards if they’re letting two guys – apparently just moments away from being fucking fried – escape by using these chairs as trampolines to make their big break?!

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I can’t. I fucking can’t.

OK. Time in.

Hemlock radios to the real police and tells them to cut off the criminals on the bridge. Instead, said police drive off the fucking bridge and into the river. Like just straight off as if they planned on it the entire time. This town is filled with the absolute worst of the worst when it comes to police and prison guards.

The Brow and Oodles decide to lay low in a hair salon since their electric chairs will fit right next to the line of women there to get perms. As far as everything has gone thus far, this actually makes sense. It probably would have worked too, but a hairdresser sees that their chairs aren’t plugged in. When she attempts to rectify that, our villains are shocked into the sky and clear out of their shackles. They run out of the salon and into a construction area where Hemlock just happens to be waiting for him. They sucker Hemlock into chasing them and he knocks him senseless by running face-first into some wooden planks.

The evil-doers take this opportunity to whip up some instant cement and plant Hemlock’s feet into it. I assume that his days are numbered, but I cannot wait to see the retardedness that will come from him eventually escaping.

They carry him over to the pier and just as they’re about to toss him into the river, Hemlock Holmes yells, “Hold everything!” Everything freezes. Shit on a stick, Hemlock Holmes just called a Zack Morris Time-Out!

He radios Dick Tracy on his watch-communicator not to ask for help or to tell Tracy that these motherfuckers – who just minutes ago were about to get executed – are going to throw him in the river, oh no, Hemlock fucking Holmes tells Tracy that he’s “about to be at the bottom of this case”. Dick Tracy says good job and next thing you know, Hemlock is at the bottom of the river with his feet locked in cement.

Personally, if I were Hemlock, I would have done things differently, but what do I know? I’ve never been on the precipice of certain death and needed to use my time-out lifeline. Just one man’s opinion.

While Hemlock should be drowning and enduring a horrible death, he’s rescued by The Retouchables – that group of idiot cops who drove off the bridge earlier and have just been driving around on the floor of the river ever since. I think now’s a good time to pour myself a Tito’s.

Tito’s Handmade Vodka: the official adult beverage of The Daily Cartoon.

The Brow and Oodles assume they’re home free at this point, but Hemlock and The Retouchables just pop up out of nowhere and are now in hot pursuit. The baddies run into an ice house to hide. An ice house is, apparently, something you go to when you need ice for your house. It’s like a giant ice vending machine. I guess we still didn’t have the means to make our own ice at home in 1961.

Some Mr. Magoo looking motherfucker stops by to get ice and when he puts in his money, The Brow and Oodles come out encased in frozen blocks. Hemlock shows up and radios Dick Tracy that he’s saved the day. Tracy approves.

Final Thoughts:

The five-minute episode was something I literally did not at all remember. I figure something like that would stand out, but – looking back – this isn’t something I watched outside of that period where the movie came out and this was back on TV.

I’m going to assume that this was a good little cartoon for the time. I can safely say it’s not a good cartoon today. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over the bouncing electric chairs. Ever. Years from now, I could be in the middle of a passionate love-making session with a local exotic dancer and this may cross my mind and I’m due to have an aneurysm.

One thing I’m really upset about is that lack of all that racial stereotyping I was expecting. Of course, I just happened to pick the wrong episode, but it’s always crazy to look back at things from a different time and see what was socially acceptable that wouldn’t even come close to flying today.

If you want to check this out, there’s a ton of episodes up on YouTube in great quality. I don’t know if the user DVD-ripped them or whatever, but the quality is terrific.

I’m glad I was able to track this down for the nostalgia, but now that I have, I never have to revisit it again.

Thanks for coming through and I’ll see you tomorrow.

❤ Joe