There are a lot of great things involving ghosts in entertainment. There’s Ghostbusters, there’s the ghost I saw at Lombard’s while working security at Universal Studios Orlando, there was the analyst on CNN hypothesizing that missing Malaysia plane MH370 may have been a “ghost plane” (not even kidding about that) and, of course, the classic cornerstone of American cinema, Ghost Dad.
So naturally, I was super excited when I saw today’s MASK episode was titled “Ghost Bomb” because I couldn’t wait to see if we were getting bombs placed and set off by ghosts or maybe it was a bomb to trap ghosts! The options are endless! Either way, we’re getting some fucking ghosts!
We open in motherfucking Panama. Once again, who the fuck is Matt Trakker?
OK, so Panama and Scott and T-Bob are parasailing when a nearby yacht is destroyed by a runaway submarine. Matt recognizes the logo on the sub’s periscope as a company he’s donated tons of money to for research.
Matt contacts the research group because he’s the only guy in Panama with available telecommunications and finds out that not only was the submarine stolen a few days ago, but so was “Brian the Brain” a super-computer with an incredible realistic AI that is powerful enough to ghost-run the sub.
Turns out, VENOM (who else) stole this equipment and plans on using it to take over the Panama Canal. If the world doesn’t comply, the submarine is rigged with plastic explosives and Brian the Brain will detonate it if someone tries interfering with their plans which will…I dunno…I guess it’ll blow up all of Panama or something.
Matt calls in the MASK agents best suited for this mission and, upon arrival, places a direct call to Brian the Brain himself which Hondo is able to trace to get Brian’s location. It’s found at a cabin in the woods being watched by Vanessa Warfield of VENOM, but she’s no match for Dusty’s freeze spray that allows them to put Brian the Brain on ice and chase off Vanessa so they’re able to disable the explosives and take back control of the submarine to return it to the lab.
Miles Mayhem is incredibly unhappy and swears revenge.
Was kinda feeling this in the beginning, but then it takes forever to develop. We’re more than halfway through the episode when Trakker calls in for the rest of MASK and the end is rushed to shit after that. There’s a quasi-interesting bit with T-Bob and Gloria where both save each other’s life within minutes of each other, but you could remove that scene completely and not miss anything from the episode.
Another case where MASK sets me up to be let down.
No PSA in this one. We get a sloppy, non-sensical scene at the end with Mayhem following MASK from his helicopter as they guide the submarine away. He grumbles about always having his plans foiled and fires a missile at the submarine so that nobody can have it. MASK simply catches it in a net and send it away harmlessly as Mayhem swears to fight another day.
* 1/2*. I am honestly worried that all the cartoons I liked as a child are fucking terrible and MASK is just letting me down not so easy. There is no possible way everything I love was this shitty, was it? Oh jesus god no. We are going to be watching a lot of cartoons, people.
I’m going to finish this series. I’m letting you know that. If I don’t, I’ll never come back to it and maybe it gets better. Who knows? But I will finish this. After this, however, we’re going to have to find something I loved as a kid and see if I still love it. Genuinely worried here, people. I don’t want to hate my childhood.