Link

LJN WWF Superstars Commercial!

On this week’s episode, we spoke about some of the top toys from 1986 including the WWF Superstars line which was made by LJN. These figures were made of thick rubber and were heavy AF. They definitely caused a shit ton of damage when used as a projectile. Although they lacked points of articulation, they were awesomely detailed for the time and featured a great depth of characters from the time. Still sought after by collectors, the line has seen its value jump significantly over the past few years as more people search for a dwindling supply.

Here’s a commercial promoting one of the earlier series of the line.

Link

Episode-A-Day! MASK, Ep. 24: “The Plant Show”

Welcome back to another edition of MASK! Wait until you see this shit. No wasted time, let’s get on with Ep. 24: “The Plant Show”!

Plot:

We open in Los Angeles where Brad’s band is playing a sold-out concert! Whoooooooaaaaaaaaaaa!

This fucking exists…and it is glorious! No wonder Brad hasn’t been seen in a handful of episodes. He finally got to play his big show uninterrupted.

The end.

In all honesty, if the episode ended there, I would have gone home happy, but it didn’t. After the show, Matt and Scott head backstage to visit with Brad and compliment his life-altering performance. T-Bob says how much he loved the plant effect they had where giant vines grew over the amphitheater. Turns out that the vines weren’t an effect, but VENOM’s new plot to take over civilization!

VENOM is dropping seeds of their genetically engineered seeds all over LA coating the entire town in what appear to be indestructible vines. MASK is so busy trying to save people from getting trapped in the weeds that they’re not able to come up with a solution for how to defeat the vines and send VENOM packing for the day.

Scott and T-Bob, who had been banished to their hotel room earlier by Matt have room service bring them a huge sundae. Of course, calamity ensues and they spill the sundae and fall out the window, but realize that the cold from the ice cream is able to kill the vines. Scott calls Matt on T-Bob’s radio to tell him this and Bruce creates a cold bomb to shoot over the city that clears the vines once and for all.

Thoughts:

Brad actually had a concert. It was awesome. Dude is a fucking star. Fuck the rest of the episode. I explained what happened. Figure it out for yourself.

PSA:

Don’t take electric stuff into water. Solid advice.

Final Grade:

**1/2*. I’m bumping this one up big time for finally giving my double main man, Brad, the big shine. I wonder if they ever released a record of Brad’s band’s music. What the hell is the name of his band anyway?

What a phenomenal time. I had fun. Did you have fun? This was good. Let’s do it again tomorrow.

❤ Joe

 

Episode-A-Day! MASK, Ep. 23: “Vanishing Point”

Welcome back to another exciting episode of MASK! Today, we still learn nothing about just who Matt Trakker is or where he gets his money, but that won’t stop me from trying in the future.

Here’s episode 23, “Vanishing Point”!

Plot:

It looks like we’re back in mountainous unnamed hometown where a cargo plane is getting set to land at an out-of-the-way airfield. Upon landing, people at the base go to meet the plane only to discover that it is gone! Vanished! Into thin air!

The head guy at the airfield FaceTimes Matt Trakker because he’s the chief investor of the cargo being carried in that plane: a top-secret Hermes Jet that is light and collapsible into small pieces that can also travel at Mach 5 with incredible handling.

Matt decides to do a little investigating and finds that VENOM is behind this. Obviously.

MASK starts casing the VENOM hideout, but Scott and T-Bob act like a couple of assholes and blow the cover even though they’re not even supposed to be there. Instead of being mad and slapping the shit out of his son for jeopardizing the mission and their safety, Matt laughs it off because all’s good in the hood.

But now they gotta get back in the vehicles and chase down VENOM. Matt sees the Hermes Jet and starts tracking it, but Bruce sees on radar that there’s no jet there. VENOM is using fake chemtrails to disguise where they have the jet actually going.

Matt is beside himself, but does come across a secret VENOM airfield and orders the MASK crew to follow him to his location. Gloria infiltrates the facility and frees the Jet crew and finds the secret plane while MASK chases off VENOM.

Unfortunately, the airfield is equipped with a self-destruction bomb that Miles Mayhem sets off before he flies away. Bruce is barely able to stop the countdown with a bobby pin from Gloria’s hair and the day is saved.

Thoughts:

How the fuck do you create fake trails for a fucking plane? I work in aviation! You can’t just fake a trail on radar. I fucking hate this show.

PSA:

Never carry more than you’re able to safely handle. Solid advice.

Final Grade:

* 1/2*. Some of colors seem to pop a bit more in the animation of this episode for some reason. Visually, it looked OK, but once again, the story is just fucking stupid. It’s just getting frustrating because you consistently see the potential of how this could be an interesting and fun series and it’s just not pulling it off.

We’ll be back tomorrow to be disappointed by this show again.

❤ Joe

Link

Episode-A-Day! MASK, Ep. 22: “The Secret of Life”

Welcome back to the beginning of Week 4! Still a long way to go in the series, but we inch closer to being able to start on a better show soon enough. Hopefully.

For now, we’re about a third of the way through this series, however, and I’ll be doing my best to get us to the finish line.

Also, a thank you to those of you actually reading these reviews. There’s been a nice uptick in the website traffic and that is much appreciated.

And with that said, welcome to Ep. 22: “The Secret of Life”!

Plot:

Welcome to Egypt. At this point, Matt and Scott Trakker have had to get a massive amount of page refills for their passports. It’s absurd. Unless they’re breaking international law which I wouldn’t put past them because of how effortless they make it seem when calling in other MASK agents and their vehicles at the drop of a hat.

But, yeah, today we’re in Egypt where local english-speaking scientists are trying to decipher ancient hierogylphics on a tablet that will lead to the tomb of King Tuttibon where the secret of life can be found.

After the scientists feel they’ve reached an impasse for the evening, they decide to call it a night and continue later as they have a busy day ahead of them. Upon closing up for the night, a mummy emerges from a carcophogus (a word I always love using because it reminds me of Thundercats playset that was Mumm-Ra’s tomb), steals the tablet and leaves through the window like my favorite Something Corporate album.

I don’t know how many of you had that, but this was seriously one of my favorite playsets as a kid.

Back at the ranch, the Trakkers are on an archeology excavation with the scientitsts from the night before when word comes down that the tablet has been stolen. Matt runs off to help and leaves Scott and T-Bob to dig as he calls in the MASK agents best suited for this mission.

Once again, we’re left without Brad who may have finally told Matt Trakker to go fuck himself and that his music comes first and Matt can’t tell him what to do because he’s not his dad.

Turns out that VENOM are behind the theft of the ancient tablet and bring it to a local bad guy who will translate the markings and then split the fee 50/50 for whatever it is that the secret of life turns out becoming.

MASK is able to track them down and we get a battle through the tourist section of Egypt which includes VENOM blowing up a pyramid. I’m sure that went over well with the locals. No matter, VENOM has the translation and has left the local Egyptian bad guy to be collared by MASK.

They arrive at the tomb of King Tuttibon where they recover what looks to be some kind of green fucking broach. Apparently, that’s what this entire episode has been built around. A goddamn broach. MASK comes by and is like, “Oy! Give us that fucking broach!” VENOM is all like, “Eyy! This is our fucking broach! Bugger off!” So MASK knocks them over and takes the fucking broach. The bring it to local Egyptian english-speaking scientist who is able to find the secret of life from this fucking thing.

The secret of life…is Love.

Honestly, VENOM wouldn’t have been able to sell that for fucking beans.

Thoughts:

Look, I’m shitting all over the goddamn broach, but, for the most part, this episode was OK. Nothing too great, but I did enjoy the mummy and blowing up the pyramid. Not an awful lot here to get invested in, but that’s par for the course in MASK to this point.

PSA:

Be careful dumpster diving. You never know what kind of hazardous things can be in there. Solid advice. And yes, this is actually a real thing.

Final Grade:

**. There’s been better, there’s been worse. This wasn’t one of the worse ones. At least you were able to have some fun with this one.

So that’s today’s episode. We come back tomorrow with more MASK fun.

❤ Joe

 

Episode-A-Day! MASK, Ep. 21: “Mardi Gras Mystery”

Welcome to New Orleans, where today’s episode, “Mardi Gras Mystery” takes place! It’s another traveling day for the Trakkers as the world’s most important person is again getting in the middle of trouble on vacation.

Plot:

It’s the night before the big Mardi Gras parade and Matt Trakker is enjoying the evening with Scott and T-Bob. Matt takes them for a walk to show them the floats for tomorrow’s parade before they set off, but as they walk into the lot, an old man whizzes by them on a golf cart and then is quickly followed by VENOM agents.

The man’s granddaughter, Becky, is left behind and Matt protects her from the VENOM agents that come back for her. The old man is eventually caught up to by Miles Mayhem who kidnaps him.

Becky’s grandfather has been working with a local professor on creating an experimental fuel additive that adds a significant amount of speed to any vehicle, but only in small doses as it can’t yet be controlled.

We eventually get the daily MASK vs. VENOM faceoff where MASK frees the Grandfather and the professor and eventually recovers the experimental fuel additive.

Thoughts:

Not a lot of depth in this episode. There’s some flirtation between Scott and Becky that takes the plot nowhere and is really just filler for an episode with not a lot going on. Another example of lazy storytelling.

PSA: 

Always know who to call in the case of an emergency. Solid advice.

Final Grade:

* 3/4*. Look, this episode isn’t out and out bad, but there’s just nothing here to get invested in. Once again, we’re in a situation where our heroes never feel threatened and the laziness or lack of creativity of the writing staff shows through. This show isn’t the first to be a vehicle to sell a toy line, but there doesn’t appear to be an interest in doing anything more. Which is sad because, as I’ve said previously, there are elements here to create a compelling universe and this is arguably a property that more could have been done with, but the lack of anything to make the show memorable has left it as just another 80s cartoon that came and went.

And, with that, we have completed three weeks of MASK. I’ve given it a real shot and came in wanting to really get into this series, but it doesn’t look like that will be happening. We’re about a third of the way through and – with every episode that passes – it becomes less likely and I have less faith that I will be rewarded for my dedication to Matt Trakker.

Until tomorrow.

❤ Joe