Episode-A-Day! MASK: Ep. 2, “The Star Chariot”

Welcome back to continuing coverage of MASK! So far, so good. I’ve made it back to back days. How long can this keep up? Who knows? Get your wagers in now.

Today we present the 2nd of the 65 episodes of MASK entitled “The Star Chariot”. Let’s see what Matt Trakker and Miles Mayhem have in store for us today.


VENOM has been hard at work trying to track down an ancient Indian Emerald Arrowhead and thinks they finally have it traced to a Native American truck driver named John Sloweagle. Not a joke.

Turns out, John Sloweagle does not have the piece as he gifted it to his grandson who just so happens to be BFF to the FFF with Scott Trakker, son of Matt Trakker of leader of MASK fame. Scott and Indian grandson happen to be fishing when Scott puts on a bandana and utters the line, “Now, I feel just like a great Indian warrior!”

I’m squirming here. Two episodes in and this shit is rough.

VENOM ambushes the kids and is able to gain control of the Indian Emerald Arrowhead to match it with the piece they already had. Putting them together will unveil the location of the Star Chariot which sounds like something that should not be controlled by mere mortals.

MASK is able to launch a counterstrike on VENOM and Miles Mayhem loses his pants, but VENOM is allowed to escape as they have Scott and his pet robot T-Bob as hostages. The agents of MASK regroup and eventually track VENOM to a secret underground cavern lined with booby traps. Scott and T-Bob are seemingly killed due to one of the traps and, as the cave begins fighting back against both MASK and VENOM, Mayhem and his cronies escape.

The Star Chariot is awoken, however and delivers a revived Scott and T-Bob from an alien planet and then returns to space because it has other stuff to do. Trakker is happy to have Scott back and everybody is satisfied with a hard day’s work.


What the fuck is happening here? First, how is it that everything in this show takes place in the equivalent of the Grand Canyon? It seems every battle or chase is in some kind of mountainous range so vast that it must be hundreds of miles from any type of town or civilization.

Secondly, we still have no background or origin. To complicate things, each member on both sides has a specially powered mask (because MASK, duh) that has some sort of special power that gets energized before going out on missions, but we have zero understanding of how they came into this line of work, their relationship with either Trakker or Mayhem or anything. It really bugs me. Whenever it’s time to MASK up, Trakker tells the computer to select the agents best suited for the mission and it immediately summons them from whatever they happen to be doing to run off and join MASK. My favorite is Brad who plays in a rock band and frequently has to run off stage in the middle of a packed concert so he can go ride a motorcycle. Apparently, his band doesn’t mind because it happens a lot.

I’m starting to wonder if I’m just going to hate everything about this show because I don’t have a sentimental attachment to it from when I was a kid. Or maybe I’m just asking for too much. Who knows?


Be careful of dogs. Don’t just go around petting any dog that looks adorable. They may like to bite. Solid advice.

Final Grade:

This episode infuriated me. All I want is to know why this rivalry exists and they don’t want to tell me. Meltzer rating: *.

Maybe Episode 3 will be better tomorrow. Or maybe I’ll just accept that I’m never going to find out any background. Whatevs.

❤ Joe

Contact: @CarJoeMez or @MaximusSexPower or email: CarJoeMez@gmail.com

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